Take It or Leave It

Today I had someone tell me, "We're bad influences. We're bad influences on everyone and we'll be a bad influence on you too!" This was said with a mixture of confidence and sarcasm. It crossed my mind to not respond at all, but my child was watching. I simply responded, "No. You won't be able to influence me." It was a strange exchange for sure, one that my husband and I chatted about for quite a while this evening.

I think the two ladies who made their very assertive remarks were a bit taken aback at my response. Certainly my response was not made out of a poor attitude or arrogance. My response was really made more for the benefit of my son than for those who made the original comment. You see, I want my son to know that it is not only okay to be completely sure of your beliefs and standards, it is good and right to live them out with assurance and confidence. Could this be misinterpreted as arrogance? In our politically correct, let's-not-stand-for-anything society, assertion of beliefs can sometimes be misinterpreted. Heaven forbid we actually draw a line in the sand. But is it not somewhat arrogant to assert that you have the power to be a bad influence on any and everyone?

If you know me, you know my heart and intention is not arrogance at all. Yet you also know that I believe what I believe and that won't change regardless of whose company surrounds me. My beliefs and standards are the same whether I am at church, work, social/family gatherings or any other setting. Years ago a verse in Galatians jumped out at me and had a huge impact on my life. Galatians 1:10 "Am I trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? Am I trying to please people? If I am trying to please people, I am not a servant of Christ." In other words, trying to keep everyone pleased with you at the expense of pleasing God is just flat wrong. Because I believe the Bible to be completely true and accurate, I must live by the truth of The Gospel. If you do not choose to believe in God's Word, I certainly do not hold you to this standard. On the other hand, if you do claim the name of Christ, you are held to this standard not by me but by God.

My precious friend Jen and I have been talking quite a lot about living authentic lives, lives that truly reflect our belief in God's Word. As a Christian, there are certain standards God holds all Christians to. I believe Galatians 1:10 tells us that we are not to be "chameleons." In other words, if we have one set of speech and actions for one group of people and a different set of speech for another set of people we are not living authentic lives. If a person can easily transition from speaking "God-speak" to then speaking of their favorite method for attaining drunkenness, using foul language or pursuing a lifestyle that is clearly not within the perimeters of Biblical freedom (sex outside of marriage, dishonest business practices, racist attitudes, abusive actions, etc) I would dare say this is not an authentic lifestyle. Let me be abundantly clear that I do not hold those who do not claim the name of Christian to these beliefs anymore than my Jewish friends hold me to a standard of a Kosher diet. But what I do expect out of people is authenticity and consistency.

I have several friends who are not Christians. The reason we can maintain a friendship is because they do not try to change my beliefs and I do not try to force mine upon them. I simply live my life unapologetically and as consistently as God graciously allows me. Should any of my friends have questions about my beliefs I think they know the line of communication is always open.

Back to the 2 ladies I met yesterday...I think they were a little surprised at my response. To be completely honest, I was quite surprised at their eagerness to proclaim how bad of an influence they could be. However, we all ended up having a very nice meal together and had some wonderful conversation. I doubt our paths will cross again, but should the opportunity arise I would gladly welcome conversation with them. And because I love Jesus so much and am so thankful for all He has done in my life, if either of these ladies should want to ask questions I would be more than happy to answer.

"If you do not stand for something, you'll fall for anything."

Charlie Brown

I've noticed a disturbing trend in the last few days...a lack of Christmas Spirit. It seems that conditions are less than perfect for encouraging the Christmas Spirit. For some, this means all of the correct people are not in place, for others this means the weather is not cooperating with dreams of snowy white Christmases and for others it seems like just a general spirit of ennui. It's all very Charlie Brown-esque.

I will freely admit the Christmas spirit has almost illuded me this season too. On this first day of winter, my car registered 75 degrees and the day was overcast and muggy. I don't know as though we've had any 'cold, crisp' days this year. I love singing and, due to a nasty cold, have not been able to sing since Thanksgiving. There has been no caroling for me, no singing along with Bing and The Andrews Sisters and no duets with Ella Fitzgerald. Our tree has been a bit of a disappointment as well. It looked gorgeous when we first brought it home, but with 3 days until Christmas the bottom branches are drooping and nearly bare of all needles. What a Charlie Brown Christmas, indeed!

But then I look at my own little Linus (aka Jackson) and see the light in his eyes as he looks at our tree with joy and wonder, as he explains Christmas to his baby brother and as he daily dictates his "what I know about Jesus" entries for his Advent calendar. I am reminded of what Linus tells Charlie Brown, "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.' That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown."

Indeed, that is what, and WHO, Christmas is all about. Merry Christmas!

Thirty One

I celebrated my 31st birthday earlier this week. Birthdays do not usually make me very reflective and I wouldn't say that this birthday has brought lots of deep reflection, but it has brought more than the usual. In thinking of the number 31, my first thought is of the very famous 31st chapter of Proverbs. In this passage, King Lemuel's mother describes the type of woman her son should pursue. Most Christian women use this passage as a measuring stick of sorts for their own lives. But what really got me thinking is that this advice is from a mother to her son. I have sons. Certainly I would desire a Proverbs 31 woman for my sons. What is the best way to teach a child? By reciting words over and over? No. The best way to teach a child is to show him. I must show my sons what a Proverbs 31 acts like and looks like in the way I live my life each day. Do I bring good to my husband in every way? (v. 12) Do I extend my hands to the needy? (v. 20) Do I speak wisdom? (v. 26) This is a short glimpse into the questions I am challenging myself with this week and for the weeks to come.

I look forward to my 31st year with excitement, joy and much gratitude. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.

Empty Ambulances

This week has been a week of reflection for me as I'm sure it has been for most Americans. The ten years that have passed since the horrible events of 9/11 have been, at times, painfully slow and at other times, far too fast. Like most, I don't know as though I have fully digested the impact of that day. Most of the details of the day are seared into my mind as if it were just yesterday.

Ironically enough, by dear friend Sarah and I were planning our upcoming trip to NYC when we saw the news coverage of the first plane. We sat in absolute shock as we watched the rest of the horrible morning unfold; events and images that none of us will ever forget. One of the most powerfully sad images was that of the many paramedics and ambulances waiting to take survivors to the hospital and yet the vast majority of those ambulances remained empty. Those empty ambulances became a physical depiction of the helplessness we all felt. So many lives lost.

But let us remember those days after 9/11. The unity we felt, the sense of patriotism, the kindness shown to strangers. We were a grieving family and we were determined to hold each other up through our grief. May we never forget that we are a strong and powerful country when we are united with each other. May we also never forget that, in our despair, confusion, grief and helplessness, we turned to God. Churches were full and we sought His help, His love and His comfort. Let us never forget Him.

O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

Throw Back: 1996

When I saw today's blog challenge prompt from Lisa at heysparky.wordpress.com, I had no intention of fulfilling the prompt. The prompt? "If you could meet your sixteen year old self, what would you tell her?" Really, Lisa? You want me to expose that much of myself on a BLOG? But thinking through this prompt throughout the day has been a good exercise in reflection and gratitude.

Sixteen wasn't a horrible age for me; I did quite well in school, followed my parents' rules and was active in my church. However, I was not content. Although I did well in school, I hated it. Make no mistake, I loved academics but I hated all of the high school drama. I never really felt like I fit in with any group and felt really lonely quite a lot of the time. In one of several incidents, one group of "friends" convinced me that another "friend" was pregnant and distraught and could I please go comfort her and pray for her. So, with great compassion in my heart I did just that. Little did I know they were all making fun of me and having a good laugh at my expense. The girl was not pregnant, they apparently just wanted to see what I would do. These incidents made me feel all the more alone. Not my favorite social years.

Even though those high school years weren't my favorite, there's not much that I would change about them. The Lord greatly protected me from many things during those years- drugs, alcohol, sex, laziness, etc. So what would I tell my 16 year old self as I approach 31? I'd most likely keep it simple- trust the Lord more and wait patiently for Him. He's about to give you some of the best friends you will ever have. He also sees the tears you cry in your loneliness and He understands. Focus more on Him and less on yourself. Oh! And when you meet a guy (who is far too old for you) in a few months, RUN as fast as you can in the opposite direction! He's going to make you even less content during your 17th year. (And your 18/19th years too. RUN!!!)

It's My Birthday!! (In 18 days)

I missed yesterday's entry for my week-long blog challenge. In my defense, it was a really hectic day. Today's prompt? A birthday haiku! Here goes:

Wake up thirty one
Certainly eat some choc-late
Hope I get a song

I will now humbly accept my Pulitzer Prize for Literature.

Sticks And Stones

I did something that I haven't done is quite a long time last Saturday. Calm down, it's nothing too crazy, merely a trip to the movie theater. My friend and I went to see "The Help." (Worry not, this post is not a movie review!) There are only a handful of movies that really cause me to pause and consider the hidden applications within the characters and story-line. This particular movie joins that list.

One of the many take-home lessons for me was the power of affirming words. This is an issue that has been on my heart and mind for some time now, especially whilst in the throws of motherhood. One of the characters is a little girl whose mother shows little to no interest in her. However, her nanny repeatedly says to her, "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." Those words of affirmation create a very special bond between the two. Unlike the little girl in the movie, my parents always took great interest in me and showered me with words of love and affirmation. However, I can clearly remember some very hurtful and unkind words that were hurled at me over the course of years. I clearly remember the boy in high school who told me (and not just once), "You think you can sing, but you really suck." I can also remember the girl in chorus who, when I stood to audition for a solo part, said to me, "Sit down, trash." But the incident that hurt me the most was when a very trusted person in my life hurled the most hurtful and piercing insult imaginable at me. The words were so painful that the very thought of them stirs emotions in me that are, to this day, very painful. He has long since apologized and I have forgiven him, but 8 years later the words still haunt me and as much as I'd like to forget them, I can't.

Words are extremely powerful. Words have the ability to breathe life into a person or cut them down at the knees. Were it not for the loving and kind words I received from my parents, I'm fairly certain that the hurtful words of my past would have cut me down and changed who I am. I once heard a story of a young woman from a very poor village in Zimbabwe. She was married off at a disturbingly young age and was also illiterate. She eventually came into contact with a Western missionary. She expressed a desire for literacy to this missionary but she was afraid that she was not smart enough. People had told her that girls certainly weren't capable of learning to read. The missionary told her that she was most certainly capable of learning to read and could do wonderful things with her life. As this woman recounts, those were the first affirming words she can remember hearing. The woman now holds a PhD from a well respected institution and has built a successful school in her former village. She credits her accomplishments to those encouraging words. Words are powerful.

The Bible tells us to speak with words of grace to one another. (Col 4:6) I'm sure I am guilty of using words in a way that isn't gracious and I would take those words back in a heartbeat if I could. Yet, we are not given the privilege of rewinding life and deleting words that spilled from our mouths. We are, thankfully, given new mercies each morning. New mercies that allow us to look at ourselves and do differently and do better. It is my personal conviction that my words must be guarded more carefully. My words must be words that breathe life and encourage, even when dealing with the frustrations of life; furthermore, not every thought that comes into my head needs to come out of my mouth. I'll be the first to admit that isn't always easy!

One can never be certain of how powerful his or her words can be in another person's life. May I never forget that truth. "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24