Thirty One

I celebrated my 31st birthday earlier this week. Birthdays do not usually make me very reflective and I wouldn't say that this birthday has brought lots of deep reflection, but it has brought more than the usual. In thinking of the number 31, my first thought is of the very famous 31st chapter of Proverbs. In this passage, King Lemuel's mother describes the type of woman her son should pursue. Most Christian women use this passage as a measuring stick of sorts for their own lives. But what really got me thinking is that this advice is from a mother to her son. I have sons. Certainly I would desire a Proverbs 31 woman for my sons. What is the best way to teach a child? By reciting words over and over? No. The best way to teach a child is to show him. I must show my sons what a Proverbs 31 acts like and looks like in the way I live my life each day. Do I bring good to my husband in every way? (v. 12) Do I extend my hands to the needy? (v. 20) Do I speak wisdom? (v. 26) This is a short glimpse into the questions I am challenging myself with this week and for the weeks to come.

I look forward to my 31st year with excitement, joy and much gratitude. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.

Empty Ambulances

This week has been a week of reflection for me as I'm sure it has been for most Americans. The ten years that have passed since the horrible events of 9/11 have been, at times, painfully slow and at other times, far too fast. Like most, I don't know as though I have fully digested the impact of that day. Most of the details of the day are seared into my mind as if it were just yesterday.

Ironically enough, by dear friend Sarah and I were planning our upcoming trip to NYC when we saw the news coverage of the first plane. We sat in absolute shock as we watched the rest of the horrible morning unfold; events and images that none of us will ever forget. One of the most powerfully sad images was that of the many paramedics and ambulances waiting to take survivors to the hospital and yet the vast majority of those ambulances remained empty. Those empty ambulances became a physical depiction of the helplessness we all felt. So many lives lost.

But let us remember those days after 9/11. The unity we felt, the sense of patriotism, the kindness shown to strangers. We were a grieving family and we were determined to hold each other up through our grief. May we never forget that we are a strong and powerful country when we are united with each other. May we also never forget that, in our despair, confusion, grief and helplessness, we turned to God. Churches were full and we sought His help, His love and His comfort. Let us never forget Him.

O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

Throw Back: 1996

When I saw today's blog challenge prompt from Lisa at heysparky.wordpress.com, I had no intention of fulfilling the prompt. The prompt? "If you could meet your sixteen year old self, what would you tell her?" Really, Lisa? You want me to expose that much of myself on a BLOG? But thinking through this prompt throughout the day has been a good exercise in reflection and gratitude.

Sixteen wasn't a horrible age for me; I did quite well in school, followed my parents' rules and was active in my church. However, I was not content. Although I did well in school, I hated it. Make no mistake, I loved academics but I hated all of the high school drama. I never really felt like I fit in with any group and felt really lonely quite a lot of the time. In one of several incidents, one group of "friends" convinced me that another "friend" was pregnant and distraught and could I please go comfort her and pray for her. So, with great compassion in my heart I did just that. Little did I know they were all making fun of me and having a good laugh at my expense. The girl was not pregnant, they apparently just wanted to see what I would do. These incidents made me feel all the more alone. Not my favorite social years.

Even though those high school years weren't my favorite, there's not much that I would change about them. The Lord greatly protected me from many things during those years- drugs, alcohol, sex, laziness, etc. So what would I tell my 16 year old self as I approach 31? I'd most likely keep it simple- trust the Lord more and wait patiently for Him. He's about to give you some of the best friends you will ever have. He also sees the tears you cry in your loneliness and He understands. Focus more on Him and less on yourself. Oh! And when you meet a guy (who is far too old for you) in a few months, RUN as fast as you can in the opposite direction! He's going to make you even less content during your 17th year. (And your 18/19th years too. RUN!!!)

It's My Birthday!! (In 18 days)

I missed yesterday's entry for my week-long blog challenge. In my defense, it was a really hectic day. Today's prompt? A birthday haiku! Here goes:

Wake up thirty one
Certainly eat some choc-late
Hope I get a song

I will now humbly accept my Pulitzer Prize for Literature.

Sticks And Stones

I did something that I haven't done is quite a long time last Saturday. Calm down, it's nothing too crazy, merely a trip to the movie theater. My friend and I went to see "The Help." (Worry not, this post is not a movie review!) There are only a handful of movies that really cause me to pause and consider the hidden applications within the characters and story-line. This particular movie joins that list.

One of the many take-home lessons for me was the power of affirming words. This is an issue that has been on my heart and mind for some time now, especially whilst in the throws of motherhood. One of the characters is a little girl whose mother shows little to no interest in her. However, her nanny repeatedly says to her, "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." Those words of affirmation create a very special bond between the two. Unlike the little girl in the movie, my parents always took great interest in me and showered me with words of love and affirmation. However, I can clearly remember some very hurtful and unkind words that were hurled at me over the course of years. I clearly remember the boy in high school who told me (and not just once), "You think you can sing, but you really suck." I can also remember the girl in chorus who, when I stood to audition for a solo part, said to me, "Sit down, trash." But the incident that hurt me the most was when a very trusted person in my life hurled the most hurtful and piercing insult imaginable at me. The words were so painful that the very thought of them stirs emotions in me that are, to this day, very painful. He has long since apologized and I have forgiven him, but 8 years later the words still haunt me and as much as I'd like to forget them, I can't.

Words are extremely powerful. Words have the ability to breathe life into a person or cut them down at the knees. Were it not for the loving and kind words I received from my parents, I'm fairly certain that the hurtful words of my past would have cut me down and changed who I am. I once heard a story of a young woman from a very poor village in Zimbabwe. She was married off at a disturbingly young age and was also illiterate. She eventually came into contact with a Western missionary. She expressed a desire for literacy to this missionary but she was afraid that she was not smart enough. People had told her that girls certainly weren't capable of learning to read. The missionary told her that she was most certainly capable of learning to read and could do wonderful things with her life. As this woman recounts, those were the first affirming words she can remember hearing. The woman now holds a PhD from a well respected institution and has built a successful school in her former village. She credits her accomplishments to those encouraging words. Words are powerful.

The Bible tells us to speak with words of grace to one another. (Col 4:6) I'm sure I am guilty of using words in a way that isn't gracious and I would take those words back in a heartbeat if I could. Yet, we are not given the privilege of rewinding life and deleting words that spilled from our mouths. We are, thankfully, given new mercies each morning. New mercies that allow us to look at ourselves and do differently and do better. It is my personal conviction that my words must be guarded more carefully. My words must be words that breathe life and encourage, even when dealing with the frustrations of life; furthermore, not every thought that comes into my head needs to come out of my mouth. I'll be the first to admit that isn't always easy!

One can never be certain of how powerful his or her words can be in another person's life. May I never forget that truth. "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24