"I don't like those naughty things!"

Disclaimer: These are my own thoughts, opinions and convictions. Please know that because these convictions are very personal, I do not hold others to them. If you choose to celebrate Halloween, that is your personal right. I do not condemn you nor judge you. I, however, do not feel comfortable with the celebration of Halloween. The purpose of this blog entry is merely to explain my reasons for this.

It is that time of year when Halloween decorations are littering the stores. Bleh. Since I am not a fan of Halloween, or the combination of orange and black, this is not a season I get excited about. Don't get me wrong, I rather enjoy fall. I love pumpkin muffins, fall soups, decorating my home for fall, more temperate weather and apple cider. Halloween, however, I could do without. This morning my sweet little boy was terrified by a rather disgusting decoration on display at our local Michaels. The item was a life-sized skeleton that was made to look quite bloody and garish. Why anyone would want to have such an item in their home is beyond my comprehension. Jackson's comment was, "That thing makes God sad. I do not like that naughty thing!"

Several years ago I taught a student whose family was from Haiti. He was greatly disturbed by the American fascination with Halloween. He told me about the very dangerous side of Halloween and the various satanic rituals and rites that were part of the night. This only served to bolster my feelings about Halloween. It also made me really give serious thought regarding my own reluctance to celebrate Halloween.

Halloween centers around things that are purposely disturbing, garish and fearful. Please note that I am not speaking merely of carved pumpkins or benign costumes, I am speaking of the purposeful display of garish statues and figures whose sole purpose is to offend and disgust. The Bible tells us to dwell on whatever is pure and holy, not grotesque and offensive.

Halloween celebrates superstition, for which I have no tolerance. Superstitions undermine the sovereignty of God. I have actually known people who are willing to completely disturb their life in order to serve their superstitions. I'm not just speaking of silly traditions (for example- ball players who wear the same, unwashed, socks all season. Gross, but not necessarily a superstition.) I speak of putting faith and giving credence to superstitions that affect significant behavior.

Halloween celebrates practices that I find to be evil. In my estimation, Halloween draws much attention to things of the Zodiac (horoscopes), palm reading, tarot reading and seances. The Bible is very, very clear that we are not to dabble in such things. Because I choose to believe the Bible as true, I also choose to believe these things are of no value to a Christian.

It seems that Halloween has taken a turn from when I was a child. My mom has substantiated this observation. It is also my observation that society is becoming increasingly nebulous. In other words, I think society, in the name of tolerance, is taking a turn toward standing for nothing and accepting all manner of behaviors. We don't want to offend anyone and therefore, we accept anything whether it is good or bad. Certainly it is not my desire to offend anyone, but it is my desire to be clear in my beliefs. Because it is also my God-given duty to raise my child in the admonition of the Lord, I must live my life with clarity and authenticity. If this means that we do not celebrate a certain holiday, then that is what it means.

Friendship

With great sadness I have watched a disturbing thing occur- the dissolution of friendships. Over the course of the last year or so I have watched at least 5 long standing friendships end. The ending of these friendships have all occurred, in my best estimation, due to a taking of offense. It has made me very sad to watch this happen and it has also made me think long and hard about friendship and what true friendship looks like.

Friendship says, "I love you more than this situation/issue." So often we become so caught up in being right that we forget how valuable our friends are to our lives. Our pride drives us to be 'right.' Our pride can also drive us right out of friendship. Is being 'right' (which more often then not is all a matter of perspective) really worth a friendship?

Friendship says, "I am secure enough in our friendship that we don't have to agree all of the time." What a sad thing when a friendship dissolves over a point of disagreement that is, in the big scheme of things, quite minor.

Friendship says, "Your name/reputation is safe with me." Need I say more?

Friendship says, "I rejoice in your successes even if I'm in a dry season." Isn't it sad when a friendship is ruined because one friend is so jealous of the other's season of joy or success that envy is allowed to walk into the friendship and tear it apart?

Friendship says, "I like that you have other friends." It has always been a mystery to me when a friendship is laced with jealousy. Why wouldn't you want your friend to have other friends?

Friendship says, "I forgive first and will ask questions later; but only if those questions will build our friendship."

Life is hard and life is harder if you are alone. Friendship is a gift that must be treasured and never taken for granted. Proverbs 17:17 tells us that a friend loves at all times. Notice that this verse says nothing about loving when it serves our selfish needs, loving when it is fun, loving when it is easy... NO! This verse simply says, "at all times."

I leave you with a thought from Frances Bacon that I believe is worth pondering. "The communicating of a man's self to his friend works two contrary effects; for it redoubleth joys and cutteth griefs in half."

Incredulous

I'm not sure if incredulous completely describes my feelings on a particular issue, but it's probably close. When I learned that Olson baby #2 is a boy, I was quite excited and I would have been just as excited to have a girl. You see, gender just wasn't a big factor to me. In the course of the days following the announcement of our second child being a son, I was met with some unbelievable responses. Here is a taste:
"Oh! I'm so sorry. What a shame!" (huh???)
"That's too bad. You and Kyle sure would've had a pretty girl."
"Well, I guess you'll need to try for a 3rd one then! Maybe #3 will be a girl."

Yes, (prepare for sarcasm) what a shame that I have 2 healthy and vibrant sons. This response surprised me at first, but then it just made me plain old mad. I felt that my unborn son was, to some people, starting life out as a disappointment. Are you kidding me? He is exactly who God wants him to be. Isaiah 43:1 tells us that God has called us by name and that we are His. Who am I to think that I know better than a Holy God? If God, in His sovereignty, sees fit to grace our family with another son and I accept that gift and privilege with anything other than thankfulness, I need a serious character overhaul.

The 'well, you can try for a 3rd' comment really gets to me. As if my son were some sort of error and I can just try again until I get the result others want for me. My unborn son is extremely loved by his mom and dad. He is a gift that God did not have to give to us, but in His grace, He did. Even as I write these words I can feel our little one happily kicking and playing.

I have yet to come up with a gracious response to some of these ridiculous comments. My general response is to remain silent, perhaps that is the best course of action. Any suggestions out there??

Did you really think I wouldn't have an opinion?

A certain female sports reporter has been in the news lately for an incident that occurred in the Patriots' locker room. Where to begin?

Let me first address the men. Although we do not know what was said and/or done to this woman, we do know that the men acted inappropriately. Were I the mother of any of these men, Cain and Abel would be raised. I would snatch my son bald-headed for such behavior! I don't care if this woman walked into the locker room naked, there is NEVER any excuse for speaking to a woman in a degrading fashion. EVER. It is disappointing that grown men have acted in such an adolescent manner.

Do I think this reporter is a hapless innocent? No. This woman has marketed herself as a sex object. She has given much encouragement to her moniker of 'sexiest sports reporter in Mexico.' If you haven't seen the outfit she wore that fateful day, don't bother. It is just as vulgar and ridiculous as you would imagine. It mystifies me that a woman who claims to have a desire to be viewed as a serious sports reporter would also encourage the objectification of herself. How about dressing more appropriately? How about setting a much better, more dignified, example to other young women? How about a little self-respect?

As a mother of boys, I feel a strong responsibility to teach my sons to respect women regardless of how a woman chooses to dress or present herself. However, in this age of female empowerment, women sure can empower themselves to dress and act far more appropriately and professionally.

Apparently, it is not hereditary

My great-grandmother had the most amazing garden. My grandma has gorgeous flowers all over her yard. My aunts, all 5 of them, can make anything grow. Flowers, plants, fruit, veggies, herbs, etc. When my husband and I recently moved, I had grand thoughts of planting tomatoes, hydrangeas, daffodils, pansies, tulips and various herbs. I started collecting magazine articles regarding such endeavors. I conducted internet research. Rather unfortunately, methinks this research was to little or no avail.

On Friday I bought a rather lovely looking basil plant at our local Publix. Thinking it would be wise to start small, I thought raising basil plant would be a good place to start. Perhaps I would soon have enough fresh basil to put a bowl of fresh pesto on our table every week. Perhaps I would have enough basil to give away to friends! Perhaps I would continue my serial plant-murdering streak. By Sunday afternoon my basil plant was looking very pitiful. I gave it more water and put it in a sunny spot outside for a bit and hoped for the best. It is now Monday morning and the sad plant is looking slightly better.

After having spent some time with my aunts recently, I realized how many family traits I have...my eyes, my hair, my complexion. Apparently horticulture isn't hereditary. It's probably all for the best anyway, dirt isn't exactly my friend. Can any of you actually imagine me digging in the garden? The thought is laughable. I believe I will leave the growing up to the lovely folks who supply the produce aisles at Publix.

An Announcement

Through God's grace, I come from a long line of wonderful mothers and it is my heart's desire to continue that legacy with the children God has given to me. There are many common threads linking my mother, my grandmother, my great-grandmother and great-great grandmother. All of these women love(d) Jesus and taught their children to love God's Word. All of these women love(d) their husbands well. All of these mothers supported their children's God-given personalities and interests and did not force their children to become something or someone they were not intended to become.

While pregnant with Jackson, the weight of motherhood struck me in a palpable way. I felt overwhelmed and under prepared. But this is right where God wanted me. Not discouraged, mind you, but in a mental and spiritual place where I clearly recognized my need for God's wisdom. Kathy, Marge, Ruth and Carolina didn't mother their children out of a desire to outdo the previous generation. Those women all mothered out of a love for the Lord and the desire for their children to know and love the Lord. That God has so graciously given me such a rich heritage is beyond humbling.

So many things in society, technology and culture have changed since my Great-Great Grandma Carolina raised her little girl, Ruth. Parenting trends have come and gone. I highly doubt she even had a 'parenting' book. Dr. Spock was the trend as my Grandma Marge was raising my mom. Fortunately, she didn't buy into that trend! My point? Dr. Spock and the like are outdated and little used. Yet from generation to generation God's Word is timeless. "For the moth will eat them like a garment, and the grub will eat them like wool. But My righteousness will be forever, and My salvation to all generations." Isaiah 51:8

It is my prayer that my love for the Lord will be obvious to my children and that I will lean evermore on God's wisdom and knowledge as I raise these two little boys God has given to Kyle and to me. Yes, 2 boys! I am daunted and honored at the same time. I have caught myself giggling all week long as I imagine life with two boys running around our yard. Two little boys coming home with muddy hands, muddy faces and huge smiles as they recount the lizards that were caught and released. Two boys with baseball uniforms that need washing and tummies that need filling. Two boys with ideas and goals. Two boys! It excites me to watch the 'brother' dynamic play out between Jackson and his little brother. Each time Jackson pats my growing tummy and says, "That's my brozzer" my heart leaps.

Thankful doesn't begin to describe the feelings brimming out of my heart. These are, indeed, special times.

The fair is in August!

When my brother and I were young and complaining about the perceived unfairness of a situation, my mom would state, 'the fair is in August.' This usually frustrated me, but only because she had made her point and it didn't serve my purposes.

I don't know as though the preoccupation with fairness is a new concept. It's human nature to look out for our own interests and desires. But can I be so bold to say that this mentality is not scriptural? Philippians 2:4-5 tells us that we are not to merely look to our own interests, but for the interests of others for such is the mind of Christ. The fact that Paul wrote these words so many centuries ago only confirms my aforementioned thought.

It might have been a book I read shortly before getting married or perhaps it was one of our pre-marital counselors, but I distinctly remember learning the concept that being consumed with fairness is a symptom of selfishness. The need and desire for fairness in marriage is really odd to me. How can you truly and sacrificially love your spouse and yet be so concerned about fairness? I'm not exactly sure where to attribute this paraphrased quote, but it's worth noting, "If you are concerned about fairness in marriage you can be assured that your divorce settlement will be quite fair as well."

I think it is of the utmost importance to concern ourselves with treating others with fairness and justice. The Bible is saturated with truths regarding how we are to treat others in kindness, love and humility. Yet, we are never told to demand this for ourselves. In fact, Leviticus 19:15 tells us quite clearly that we are to be fair and honest with all persons.

As my mother used to say, "Life just isn't fair." She's right. However, I am now of the belief that the sooner we accept this and the sooner we quit concerning ourselves with how fairly or unfairly we've been treated, our lives can be far more pleasant.