Why Adopt?

One of the questions we get a lot lately is, "Why are you choosing to adopt?" We really like this question and we very much appreciate those who want to know about this journey for our family and our birth mom. For us, the road to choosing adoption was long and paved with much prayer.

Adoption has been a topic of discussion for quite a long time. We truly enjoy being parents and we take the command found in James 1:27 seriously. We talked about various aspects and options but didn't have clear direction and so we concluded that the answer was to wait. We committed to prayer and asked several friends to join us in praying.  March 7th then rolled around and a picture began to come into focus. A friend sent me a message and asked me to pray about meeting with a young woman who was looking to place her unborn child with an adoptive family. Suddenly all of the hypothetical situations and nebulous ideas became very real situations with very specific questions. The time had come.

After much prayer and many conversations, the answer boiled down to how we would answer the question, "Why would we not adopt this child?" All of our answers had the same root... fear. We had some very legitimate fears- Would people accept our daughter as our daughter? Would wiping a large part of our savings out be wise? Would putting career goals (Lisa) on hold for at least another 5 years be smart? Would those opportunities still be available in another 5 years? Would we be equal to the task? Will this be a good situation for our boys? Would we be the right parents for this child? What about other financial plans we had? Plans for a bigger house? Plans for....But in the midst of all of those questions and the many discussions that came of each one, another question became obvious. That question was, "How do we best obey God?" The answer came back to the fact that we love God more and because we love Him, we want to obey Him. The money is His anyway. He gave us the jobs and skills we have and protected certain financial decisions for such a time as this. The career goals, though not without merit, can wait. No, we likely are not equal to the task, but when we are weak, He is strong. Yes, our boys are ready. Probably more ready than us.

It is no coincidence that the very evening we first met our birth mom our nightly "Bible Time" with the boys was the story of the woman with the alabaster jar. God was calling us to break our proverbial jar. The jar of finances, career goals, comfortable routines, various other comforts, etc. Did we trust God enough to break our jar? Once we realized that God was calling us, allowing us, to break our jar in this way for this purpose we gladly did. Those early steps of obedience were filled with a joy I cannot explain.

Last summer I had the opportunity to attend The Gospel Coalition Women's Conference in Orlando. Though all of the sessions were wonderful, there was one that resonated deeply with me. You can listen to it here. As one who fears God, not one who is merely afraid of God, but one who has a correct fear of God, I am called to action. The fear of God is not a contemplation, but a motivation. Here's the really good news that is part of that- God's grace relieves all earthly fear. When our fear of God is correctly placed, we can go forth in confidence because we know the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear Him. (Psalm 147) This is the source of our joy and our peace. This is the "why" to the original question. We adopt because the Lord called us to action. We walk not in fear of circumstances or reactions, but in joy because God says,

"Fear not, I am the one who helps you."
Isaiah 41:13