Skipping Santa

The Christmas Season is my favorite season of the entire year. As any of my former choral students can tell you, I LOVE Christmas music. I just love drinking from Christmas mugs, decorating the house, eating off of Christmas dishes, lighting candles that smell like Christmas, the combination of red and green, decorating Christmas cookies and most importantly, celebrating the birth of my precious Savior. I LOVE CHRISTMAS! But I don't love Santa. We don't treat Santa as a real being at our house and when I explain this decision to people I am often met with shock and a lot of questions. I guess I'm a sort of off my rocker for not allowing my kids to believe in something that isn't real, doesn't make wishes come true and doesn't actually bring presents. Bah-humbug, right?

Before our first little man was born, my husband and I made the decision to forgo all of the Santa Claus hoop-la. Does this mean anything with a depiction of Santa is banned from our home? No. Will we not allow our kids to take a picture with someone dressed up like Santa? No, if our boys want to take a picture with Santa, that is fine with me. However, we will not be teaching our kids that Santa is real. We will teach our boys about the real St. Nicholas and what he did because of his love for God; but not the belief and, dare I say it, deification of a bearded man in a red suit with flying reindeer.

I don't ever remember having a belief in Santa. A conversation with my mom on this very subject confirmed that memory for me. I never felt as though I missed out on anything. In fact, I remember feeling a little sorry for all of the kids whose parents were lying to them. What happens when you figure out the lie? Does Christmas lose a little of its sparkle? I've had people tell me that I'm losing a big bargaining tool with my kids. I would then ask, what is the bargaining chip when December 26th rolls around?

It seems that for the Christian, Santa presents more pitfalls than positives. For your consideration:

1. The traditional dialogue surrounding Santa is that he can see if you've been good, he knows your desires and he can be anywhere at any time. The truth is, only God Himself is capable of omniscience and omnipresence and I don't want my boys, even at a young age, thinking that anyone else has those capabilities. The Psalms, and really the entire Bible, are replete with this truth.  God alone does marvelous deeds!  (Psalm 86:10)

2. When we build Santa up to the point that our children are more excited about a mythological man who shows up once a year than they are about a God who was willing to come to earth as a helpless baby, walk this sod and die a humiliating death so we can be reconciled to a Holy God through no good and no merit of our own, we have allowed Santa to become an idol.  Exodus 20:3 tells us that we are to have no other gods.  None.  Not even if they are cute, part of a tradition, or make us feel magical. Now, not everyone builds Santa up to this level, but I will propose that if one defends the belief in Santa with more passion and voice than the defense of Jesus Christ, the line has become extremely fuzzy and that is a dangerous place to be.

3. Santa develops short-term, me-based goodness. I cringe every time I hear a person say, "You'd better be good or Santa won't come visit you!" Oh dear.  As this world becomes increasingly unkind, it seems that teaching children that they should be good because it's the right thing to do and sometimes doing the right thing may not come with a tangible reward at the end might prepare them for the long run.  In fact, as a Christian, our good works are for the sole glory of God, not so we get stuff.  (Matthew 5:16) This thought also teaches that a good deed is only good or valid if it is seen by someone else. But the best good deeds are those that are done sacrificially.

Am I going to sit Jackson and Bryant down and dogmatically explain that Santa isn't real? No.  Do I tell Jackson that Mickey Mouse isn't real? No. But I don't treat Mickey Mouse as though he is real and I certainly do not say things like, "Mickey brought you that" or "Be good, Mickey is watching!" Jackson is not upset with the fact that Mickey Mouse is pretend, kids love to pretend and use their imaginations. Knowing that Mickey is pretend hasn't left him with emotional scars nor has it taken anything away from his childhood. I would even posit that knowing Mickey, Santa, and Curious George are just pretend is actually quite freeing.  Truth makes us free.  There is no tension of maintaining a lie.  My kids don't question us and they are very excited about Christmas and celebrating the birth of a Savior.

As parents, we must make decisions that may not be popular or understood by everyone around us. By following through with our convictions we teach our children by action, not mere words. It is certainly not the intent of my heart to be sanctimonious about our convictions. I want to be abundantly clear that if you do choose to incorporate the belief of Santa into your holiday tradition that is certainly a choice you are free to make. It is important to graciously teach our children that not everyone has the same convictions and it is not our place to try and force our convictions upon others nor do our convictions make us any better than anyone else. If you choose to teach the belief of Santa to your children, that is your prerogative just as choosing to forgo Santa is mine.  But I will say that Jesus is enough.  He is enough.  The promise of a Savior fulfilled holds wonder unfathomable.

For unto you is born this day, in the city of David, a Savior, Christ the Lord.  Luke 2:11

The Freedom to Celebrate!

My last post was quite heavy, but hopefully not discouraging. As the holiday season arrives this week, I want to encourage all of you to celebrate with great joy. Embrace and enjoy the freedom you have to celebrate this season!

Growing up military meant that our 'traditions' changed each year. Sometimes we lived much too far from extended family to make the trek northward. Sometimes Dad was deployed and sometimes we joined friends to celebrate the day. Dad has since retired from the Air Force and we have the luxury of establishing some traditions with both my parents and my husband's.

It seems that our society puts quite a lot of pressure on us to create a 'perfect' holiday season for our families. And by 'society' I really mean retailers and others who are looking for a financial profit. I've felt this pressure and, sadly, have fallen into its ugly little trap. With that in mind, let me share a little list I made a week or so ago:

This holiday season, I will...
1. allow myself to say no to any activity, party, event that I don't really, really want to attend. Why run my family ragged running from one party to the next? It's really okay to say no.
2. remind myself that Martha Stewart has an entire staff and exceedingly high budget to create 'the perfect' holiday. She also has a husband who left her and a daughter who very famously dislikes her. I think Martha sort of missed the point.
3. create some fun memories with my little guy even if it leaves flour-y messes on my kitchen floor, decorations a bit askew and a tree with lots of decorations on the bottom, but not so much toward the top.
4. cuddle up on the couch, watch "White Christmas" and drink hot chocolate often.

Don't sacrifice fun memories for holiday 'perfection.' Pop your favorite movie in the dvd player, sing Christmas songs as often as you please, eat too many cookies and make some fabulous memories!

45 Million

Sunday, Nov 7th was a difficult morning for me. I know it left my husband in a very pensive state as well. We both realized how easy it is for us, as Americans, to be Christians. This wasn't a new revelation, but it just hit us harder this time. I looked into the eyes of an Uzbek woman, who has lost all of her earthly possessions for the cause of Christ, and was brought to tears. I do not think I will soon forget her eyes or the look found in them. My tears partially came from the fact that I did not understand the look in her eyes. Can any of us who are comfortable in our American homes understand? I have never been imprisoned because of my faith nor have I been beaten, nor have I had police come into my home and take all of my possessions, nor have I....the list could become exhaustive. My biggest 'tribulations' are really just irritations.

As American Christians, what is our response? I just don't know. But I do know that the Lord tells us clearly "to whom much is given, much is required." Freedom is MUCH. The freedom to choose the church I want to attend, the freedom to hold Bible studies in my home, the freedom to order/buy any sort of Christian materials I so choose, the freedom to worship with very little fear. Unfortunately it seems that the American church has become complacent and lazy. We are willing to apologize for the hard and fast truths of the Gospel in the name of 'tolerance.' We are willing to pick and choose portions of scripture that aren't politically correct so as not to offend anyone. And yet the only 'persecution' we face for standing on these hard truths comes in the form of words.

Many worldwide organizations (both secular and religious) recognize that between 70-75% of all religious persecution throughout the world is directed at Christians. The other 25-30% is spread among other religions/beliefs. I do not share this with you to make you feel badly about your own freedom. I write this so you will fully appreciate your freedom and understand that it is imperative to stand for the truth of the Gospel- regardless of political correctness.

45 Million. The number of Christians martyred in the 20th century. More than all other centuries combined.

Elisabeth Olson, the non-feminist feminist

One of my favorite former students (Yes, all teachers have favorites, it's a fact of life.) asked me why I am not a feminist. He is always thinking and asking questions. He carefully ponders his own viewpoints and is willing to listen and consider others' views as well. I love this kid! After several weeks of careful thought, here is my answer.

I believe the Bible is completely true. I believe any wisdom that is needed can be found within it's ancient yet relevant pages. It is extraordinarily evident to me that Jesus was very concerned about the mistreated and oppressed. In His day, this included women. We see over and over that Jesus condemned those who desired to embarrass and disgrace women. (See the story of the adulterous woman in John 8:1-11.) The accusers were not interested in disgracing the male involved in this situation, just the woman. Yet, in stark contrast to what was culturally acceptable, Jesus valiantly defended this woman and protected her dignity. The Bible is replete with truths revolving around the Lord defending the oppressed and giving dignity, shelter and protection. From this source, I have formed my own 'women's rights' stand.

First of all, it is important to define what 'women's rights' really are. Do I believe in women's rights? Yes. But my view of women's rights is probably a bit different from the modern feminist's view of women's rights. If I could draw a Venn Diagram of my views vs. a feminist's views, there would be quite a lot in the middle. But the outlying circles would hold some stark differences.

One of my obvious disagreements with the modern feminist movement is the stance on abortion. I find abortion to be a morally repugnant act that is barbaric and violent. Enough said.

My other large disagreement with the tenor of the modern feminist movement is that it seems to downplay the wonderful attributes of womanhood. Should women have equal pay for equal work? ABSOLUTELY. Should women have equal rights? ABSOLUTELY. However, women and men are not equal. As one example, I can carry a child and give birth. My husband cannot. It doesn't matter how much he tries to do so or even wants to do so (Although I'm sure he doesn't want to give birth!), he will never be able to birth a child. But without him, I can't either. Both genders are required, but each of us has a different role. It concerns me that the modern feminist movement has the tone of wanting to do, and sometimes even act, as a man does rather than celebrating and embracing the strengths and specialties of being a woman.

The Bible gives quite a lot of direction for women. The Proverbs 31 woman was quite obviously educated, a strong leader, a manager, a woman with business acumen, a woman who did not "need" a man to take care of her, but chose to share her life with a husband out of desire, not need. Deborah was likewise a woman who was educated, a leader, strong-willed, effective. This list could go on and on. Yes, there are many people who call themselves Evangelical Christians who, I believe, misuse scripture to manipulate and even oppress women. But EC's don't have the monopoly on this problem. There are others who believe that a woman's education, occupation, dignity, freedom, etc is not as important as a man's. Quite obviously, I whole heartedly disagree with these sentiments.

The modern "feminist" movement seems to be quite tunnel-visioned. In my view, it seems there is one way into their "club." Women who are stay-at-home moms certainly cannot be part of this club. In fact, there is a lot of very visceral language against women who choose child-rearing as their vocation. Other more "lowly" vocations seem to catch this disdain as well. It seems to become part of the modern feminist club, one must have an occupation that puts the woman in a position of power over men. Should you not have such a position, you must be oppressed, underpaid and unhappy. Further, I was appalled at how silent the most vocal feminists fell when several prominent conservative women were spoken of in very vile and disgusting ways. Why would a true feminist allow such actions to be ignored? Further, why are these feminists not rushing to places like China, India, Bangladesh, etc and voicing huge concern over the sex-slave industry and the gender-cide that is occurring? This disparity in rhetoric and action is really sad.

The Lord created men and women to be different from one another and yet He created men and women to be complimentary counterparts. I once heard someone say, "Women are superior to men at being women and men are superior to women at being men." We need not strive to be something we are not. We need, as women, to strive to be the best WOMEN we can be.

Three Years

Yesterday I held my infant son and wondered what he would be like at 3 years old. I went to sleep, woke up in the morning and all of a sudden he was 3! These last 3 years have, rather sadly, come and gone in the blink of an eye. Fortunately for his brother-to-be, Jackson sure has taught us quite a lot. Here are a few nuggets of wisdom from his 3 years of training us:
1. When preparing to bring a newborn home, remember that Mylicon/Gripe Water is one of the most essential items in the house.
2. Sometimes the onesie just needs to be thrown away. (If you've ever been around an infant, you know what I mean by this!)
3. ALWAYS have extra diapers and clothes when venturing away from home.
4. When your baby looks as though he is solving a very complex equation you should wait until the look passes. He is not solving an equation and it is best to wait unless you want to clean both him and yourself.
5. When the cat takes off like a shot down the hall, the toddler is squealing with laughter and dry spaghetti noodles are strewn down the hall... you might as well laugh and get the camera!
6. Never miss a moment to look straight into your child's eyes and say, "I love you."
7. Privacy??? What's that? Must be something that is over-rated.
8. The healing power of a Grandpa is quite remarkable.
9. Sometimes it is not a good idea to ask your toddler/preschooler to repeat himself.
10. Grandma serves M&M's for lunch. But you don't need to call and double check. ;)
11. Trips to the grocery store can be highly entertaining. Hopefully you won't see most of those people again.
12. Jesus has band-aids and medicine. Ummm.....thank goodness for the parent's take-home page from Jackson's Sunday School class.

What a fun 3 years we have had with our little man. The word 'thankful' doesn't quite seem to be sufficient, but it will do for now.

"I don't like those naughty things!"

Disclaimer: These are my own thoughts, opinions and convictions. Please know that because these convictions are very personal, I do not hold others to them. If you choose to celebrate Halloween, that is your personal right. I do not condemn you nor judge you. I, however, do not feel comfortable with the celebration of Halloween. The purpose of this blog entry is merely to explain my reasons for this.

It is that time of year when Halloween decorations are littering the stores. Bleh. Since I am not a fan of Halloween, or the combination of orange and black, this is not a season I get excited about. Don't get me wrong, I rather enjoy fall. I love pumpkin muffins, fall soups, decorating my home for fall, more temperate weather and apple cider. Halloween, however, I could do without. This morning my sweet little boy was terrified by a rather disgusting decoration on display at our local Michaels. The item was a life-sized skeleton that was made to look quite bloody and garish. Why anyone would want to have such an item in their home is beyond my comprehension. Jackson's comment was, "That thing makes God sad. I do not like that naughty thing!"

Several years ago I taught a student whose family was from Haiti. He was greatly disturbed by the American fascination with Halloween. He told me about the very dangerous side of Halloween and the various satanic rituals and rites that were part of the night. This only served to bolster my feelings about Halloween. It also made me really give serious thought regarding my own reluctance to celebrate Halloween.

Halloween centers around things that are purposely disturbing, garish and fearful. Please note that I am not speaking merely of carved pumpkins or benign costumes, I am speaking of the purposeful display of garish statues and figures whose sole purpose is to offend and disgust. The Bible tells us to dwell on whatever is pure and holy, not grotesque and offensive.

Halloween celebrates superstition, for which I have no tolerance. Superstitions undermine the sovereignty of God. I have actually known people who are willing to completely disturb their life in order to serve their superstitions. I'm not just speaking of silly traditions (for example- ball players who wear the same, unwashed, socks all season. Gross, but not necessarily a superstition.) I speak of putting faith and giving credence to superstitions that affect significant behavior.

Halloween celebrates practices that I find to be evil. In my estimation, Halloween draws much attention to things of the Zodiac (horoscopes), palm reading, tarot reading and seances. The Bible is very, very clear that we are not to dabble in such things. Because I choose to believe the Bible as true, I also choose to believe these things are of no value to a Christian.

It seems that Halloween has taken a turn from when I was a child. My mom has substantiated this observation. It is also my observation that society is becoming increasingly nebulous. In other words, I think society, in the name of tolerance, is taking a turn toward standing for nothing and accepting all manner of behaviors. We don't want to offend anyone and therefore, we accept anything whether it is good or bad. Certainly it is not my desire to offend anyone, but it is my desire to be clear in my beliefs. Because it is also my God-given duty to raise my child in the admonition of the Lord, I must live my life with clarity and authenticity. If this means that we do not celebrate a certain holiday, then that is what it means.

Friendship

With great sadness I have watched a disturbing thing occur- the dissolution of friendships. Over the course of the last year or so I have watched at least 5 long standing friendships end. The ending of these friendships have all occurred, in my best estimation, due to a taking of offense. It has made me very sad to watch this happen and it has also made me think long and hard about friendship and what true friendship looks like.

Friendship says, "I love you more than this situation/issue." So often we become so caught up in being right that we forget how valuable our friends are to our lives. Our pride drives us to be 'right.' Our pride can also drive us right out of friendship. Is being 'right' (which more often then not is all a matter of perspective) really worth a friendship?

Friendship says, "I am secure enough in our friendship that we don't have to agree all of the time." What a sad thing when a friendship dissolves over a point of disagreement that is, in the big scheme of things, quite minor.

Friendship says, "Your name/reputation is safe with me." Need I say more?

Friendship says, "I rejoice in your successes even if I'm in a dry season." Isn't it sad when a friendship is ruined because one friend is so jealous of the other's season of joy or success that envy is allowed to walk into the friendship and tear it apart?

Friendship says, "I like that you have other friends." It has always been a mystery to me when a friendship is laced with jealousy. Why wouldn't you want your friend to have other friends?

Friendship says, "I forgive first and will ask questions later; but only if those questions will build our friendship."

Life is hard and life is harder if you are alone. Friendship is a gift that must be treasured and never taken for granted. Proverbs 17:17 tells us that a friend loves at all times. Notice that this verse says nothing about loving when it serves our selfish needs, loving when it is fun, loving when it is easy... NO! This verse simply says, "at all times."

I leave you with a thought from Frances Bacon that I believe is worth pondering. "The communicating of a man's self to his friend works two contrary effects; for it redoubleth joys and cutteth griefs in half."