The Men In My Life

The arrival of our new little boy means I am officially outnumbered at our house. 3 boys, 1 girl. Our cat is a girl, but since she seems to be waging war on my carpet and nightly tries to steal my pillow, I'd hardly put her in my camp. Anybody want a cat? Thankfully, all of my boys seem to respect the carpet and none of them have tried to steal my pillow. Stealing sleep is a completely different issue.

Our younger son, Bryant, arrived at 2:45am on February 9th. He has been an absolute joy to our family and we are so very thankful for him. His arrival has caused me to reflect upon some of the wise parenting advice given to me over the years. Shortly after Jackson's arrival, my Grandma Marge wisely told me that I should always be mindful of the fact that I am not raising children, I am raising adults. Digesting these words can cause a new mama to feel quite daunted, but these words have actually given me much courage and purpose.

I'll be the first to admit that being a full-time mommy can sometimes feel a little mundane and purposeless. (Is purposeless a word? You understand what I mean so therefore, it is!) It is in the seemingly purposeless moments of picking up plastic soldiers, cleaning peanut buttery fingerprints off of the table and folding tiny socks that I am reminded of my Grandma's wisdom. As I require Jackson to do more chores around the house I sometimes think, "Gee whiz, this would be so much easier and faster to just do this myself." Then the words remind me that patiently teaching my son to pick up his toys results in far more than the temporary result of a clean home, it results in teaching long-term responsibility and work ethic. Certainly there are more anecdotal examples, but I think you get the idea. Continually reminding myself of my Grandma's wisdom has truly shaped my mothering and makes the seemingly mundane tasks of the day look more like an investment than a mere chore. Isn't that what we are doing, for better or worse, investing in our children's character?

Let us be challenged with the knowledge that everyday events, activities and tasks are opportunities to shape our 'adults in training.' A daunting task? Most certainly! I find myself praying for wisdom quite often. What a precious promise we have in James 1:5 "But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach." Let us also be encouraged with the knowledge that the seeds we sow today, seeds that might seem insignificant and tiny, will grow in time.

But I said sorry!

I have had the wonderful privilege of teaching high school. I loved teaching and I loved my students. One of the most interesting things about teaching high school is the uncensored glimpse into human nature. I have overheard so many very interesting conversations.

One overheard conversation revolved around the idea of forgiveness equating to absolution. This particular student was very ticked off that she would be paying a consequence for something for which she had apologized. I believe I heard the phrase, "...I said I was sorry!" Were it that easy, right?

This can be a touchy subject for Christians. I've had rather lively conversations with people who claim that a Christian should 'forgive and forget.' I'm not quite sure from where that idea stems, but I do not personally believe this idea is Biblical. In the eternal sense, yes, we are forgiven by the blood of Jesus and our sins are wiped away, but because we are not yet in the eternal, there are often earthly consequences to earthly actions. I submit to you the thief on the cross next to Jesus. Jesus clearly told the thief that he was forgiven and would certainly go to Heaven. However, the thief still had to die on the cross.

My sister-in-law recently attended the funeral of a 17 year old student of hers. This young lady was killed by a drunk driver. The instance of drunk driving that took this young lady's life was not the first prosecuted instance for this driver. My sister-in-law was telling me that her funeral was permeated with the idea of forgiveness. It's a beautiful and heart-wrenching thought, that 2 parents standing behind the coffin of their young daughter spoke of forgiveness. I firmly believe these parents are in the forgiving process. However, forgiving the man who killed their daughter does not release him from the consequences that must be paid for his bad decision.

It is my perception that we often look at a consequence as the opposite of forgiveness. Charles Stanley makes an interesting point with his observation that forgiveness is relational while consequences are are circumstantial. Consequences are a protection for ourselves and for those around us. I turn back to the example of Simon Wiesenthal. He forgave the men and women who committed heinous crimes against him and millions of others. Yet, if these Nazis did not face the consequences of their actions, the message to the world would be one that offers no protection to future generations.

I would be remiss if I didn't recognize that certainly there are times when mercy should be granted. I guess this is where wisdom comes into play. As a parent, I'm learning this delicate dance. So I leave with this thought- "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." Proverbs 24:3-4