When I saw today's blog challenge prompt from Lisa at heysparky.wordpress.com, I had no intention of fulfilling the prompt. The prompt? "If you could meet your sixteen year old self, what would you tell her?" Really, Lisa? You want me to expose that much of myself on a BLOG? But thinking through this prompt throughout the day has been a good exercise in reflection and gratitude.
Sixteen wasn't a horrible age for me; I did quite well in school, followed my parents' rules and was active in my church. However, I was not content. Although I did well in school, I hated it. Make no mistake, I loved academics but I hated all of the high school drama. I never really felt like I fit in with any group and felt really lonely quite a lot of the time. In one of several incidents, one group of "friends" convinced me that another "friend" was pregnant and distraught and could I please go comfort her and pray for her. So, with great compassion in my heart I did just that. Little did I know they were all making fun of me and having a good laugh at my expense. The girl was not pregnant, they apparently just wanted to see what I would do. These incidents made me feel all the more alone. Not my favorite social years.
Even though those high school years weren't my favorite, there's not much that I would change about them. The Lord greatly protected me from many things during those years- drugs, alcohol, sex, laziness, etc. So what would I tell my 16 year old self as I approach 31? I'd most likely keep it simple- trust the Lord more and wait patiently for Him. He's about to give you some of the best friends you will ever have. He also sees the tears you cry in your loneliness and He understands. Focus more on Him and less on yourself. Oh! And when you meet a guy (who is far too old for you) in a few months, RUN as fast as you can in the opposite direction! He's going to make you even less content during your 17th year. (And your 18/19th years too. RUN!!!)
Friday, September 9, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
It's My Birthday!! (In 18 days)
I missed yesterday's entry for my week-long blog challenge. In my defense, it was a really hectic day. Today's prompt? A birthday haiku! Here goes:
Wake up thirty one
Certainly eat some choc-late
Hope I get a song
I will now humbly accept my Pulitzer Prize for Literature.
Wake up thirty one
Certainly eat some choc-late
Hope I get a song
I will now humbly accept my Pulitzer Prize for Literature.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Sticks And Stones
I did something that I haven't done is quite a long time last Saturday. Calm down, it's nothing too crazy, merely a trip to the movie theater. My friend and I went to see "The Help." (Worry not, this post is not a movie review!) There are only a handful of movies that really cause me to pause and consider the hidden applications within the characters and story-line. This particular movie joins that list.
One of the many take-home lessons for me was the power of affirming words. This is an issue that has been on my heart and mind for some time now, especially whilst in the throws of motherhood. One of the characters is a little girl whose mother shows little to no interest in her. However, her nanny repeatedly says to her, "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." Those words of affirmation create a very special bond between the two. Unlike the little girl in the movie, my parents always took great interest in me and showered me with words of love and affirmation. However, I can clearly remember some very hurtful and unkind words that were hurled at me over the course of years. I clearly remember the boy in high school who told me (and not just once), "You think you can sing, but you really suck." I can also remember the girl in chorus who, when I stood to audition for a solo part, said to me, "Sit down, trash." But the incident that hurt me the most was when a very trusted person in my life hurled the most hurtful and piercing insult imaginable at me. The words were so painful that the very thought of them stirs emotions in me that are, to this day, very painful. He has long since apologized and I have forgiven him, but 8 years later the words still haunt me and as much as I'd like to forget them, I can't.
Words are extremely powerful. Words have the ability to breathe life into a person or cut them down at the knees. Were it not for the loving and kind words I received from my parents, I'm fairly certain that the hurtful words of my past would have cut me down and changed who I am. I once heard a story of a young woman from a very poor village in Zimbabwe. She was married off at a disturbingly young age and was also illiterate. She eventually came into contact with a Western missionary. She expressed a desire for literacy to this missionary but she was afraid that she was not smart enough. People had told her that girls certainly weren't capable of learning to read. The missionary told her that she was most certainly capable of learning to read and could do wonderful things with her life. As this woman recounts, those were the first affirming words she can remember hearing. The woman now holds a PhD from a well respected institution and has built a successful school in her former village. She credits her accomplishments to those encouraging words. Words are powerful.
The Bible tells us to speak with words of grace to one another. (Col 4:6) I'm sure I am guilty of using words in a way that isn't gracious and I would take those words back in a heartbeat if I could. Yet, we are not given the privilege of rewinding life and deleting words that spilled from our mouths. We are, thankfully, given new mercies each morning. New mercies that allow us to look at ourselves and do differently and do better. It is my personal conviction that my words must be guarded more carefully. My words must be words that breathe life and encourage, even when dealing with the frustrations of life; furthermore, not every thought that comes into my head needs to come out of my mouth. I'll be the first to admit that isn't always easy!
One can never be certain of how powerful his or her words can be in another person's life. May I never forget that truth. "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24
One of the many take-home lessons for me was the power of affirming words. This is an issue that has been on my heart and mind for some time now, especially whilst in the throws of motherhood. One of the characters is a little girl whose mother shows little to no interest in her. However, her nanny repeatedly says to her, "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." Those words of affirmation create a very special bond between the two. Unlike the little girl in the movie, my parents always took great interest in me and showered me with words of love and affirmation. However, I can clearly remember some very hurtful and unkind words that were hurled at me over the course of years. I clearly remember the boy in high school who told me (and not just once), "You think you can sing, but you really suck." I can also remember the girl in chorus who, when I stood to audition for a solo part, said to me, "Sit down, trash." But the incident that hurt me the most was when a very trusted person in my life hurled the most hurtful and piercing insult imaginable at me. The words were so painful that the very thought of them stirs emotions in me that are, to this day, very painful. He has long since apologized and I have forgiven him, but 8 years later the words still haunt me and as much as I'd like to forget them, I can't.
Words are extremely powerful. Words have the ability to breathe life into a person or cut them down at the knees. Were it not for the loving and kind words I received from my parents, I'm fairly certain that the hurtful words of my past would have cut me down and changed who I am. I once heard a story of a young woman from a very poor village in Zimbabwe. She was married off at a disturbingly young age and was also illiterate. She eventually came into contact with a Western missionary. She expressed a desire for literacy to this missionary but she was afraid that she was not smart enough. People had told her that girls certainly weren't capable of learning to read. The missionary told her that she was most certainly capable of learning to read and could do wonderful things with her life. As this woman recounts, those were the first affirming words she can remember hearing. The woman now holds a PhD from a well respected institution and has built a successful school in her former village. She credits her accomplishments to those encouraging words. Words are powerful.
The Bible tells us to speak with words of grace to one another. (Col 4:6) I'm sure I am guilty of using words in a way that isn't gracious and I would take those words back in a heartbeat if I could. Yet, we are not given the privilege of rewinding life and deleting words that spilled from our mouths. We are, thankfully, given new mercies each morning. New mercies that allow us to look at ourselves and do differently and do better. It is my personal conviction that my words must be guarded more carefully. My words must be words that breathe life and encourage, even when dealing with the frustrations of life; furthermore, not every thought that comes into my head needs to come out of my mouth. I'll be the first to admit that isn't always easy!
One can never be certain of how powerful his or her words can be in another person's life. May I never forget that truth. "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24
Monday, July 18, 2011
Top Ten Things I'll Never Understand
1. Hoarding. Umm...gross.
2. Stuff on your car's dashboard. Be it paperwork, trash or stuffed animals, I just don't get it.
3. Bushy eyebrows.
4. Socks with sandals.
5. Misspelling common words in the age of spellcheck. (Tomorrow, definitely and separate would top that list.)
6. Driving 10 MPH under the speed limit.
7. Male athletes who pop each other's butts.
8. Smoking.
9. Breaking stuff when you're ticked off. Seriously, once you've cooled off you're going to have to clean up the mess, which just might tick you back off and you might even have to replace the stuff you broke, which will definitely tick you off.
10. And.....I will never ever understand how anyone bought into the lie that pleated pants and/or tapered pants are flattering.
2. Stuff on your car's dashboard. Be it paperwork, trash or stuffed animals, I just don't get it.
3. Bushy eyebrows.
4. Socks with sandals.
5. Misspelling common words in the age of spellcheck. (Tomorrow, definitely and separate would top that list.)
6. Driving 10 MPH under the speed limit.
7. Male athletes who pop each other's butts.
8. Smoking.
9. Breaking stuff when you're ticked off. Seriously, once you've cooled off you're going to have to clean up the mess, which just might tick you back off and you might even have to replace the stuff you broke, which will definitely tick you off.
10. And.....I will never ever understand how anyone bought into the lie that pleated pants and/or tapered pants are flattering.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Colorblind? No.
Several weeks ago, on a trip to Walmart, my 3 year old said to the check-out lady, "I really like your colors. Your arm is pretty." My heart skipped a few beats as I looked up to see the response on her face. You see, this woman was African-American. I can't tell you how thankful I am that she understood my son was giving her a very high compliment. I have mulled this incident over and over in my mind. Certainly I am not the first parent with a preschooler who felt the need to audibly verbalize every thought in his precocious head. In looking for methods for explaining races to a preschooler, I came up discouraged and irritated.
It seems the prevailing thought is to teach children to be colorblind. How stupid. (Hang with me here.) That would be like teaching a child that all of his/her toys are green. Of course you could teach your child that everything is green, but she would clearly know that not everything is green and that you are not being forthright with her. One explanation I read proposed that perhaps we aren't different colors at all, but rather varying shades of the same color. I don't really know how I feel about that, so I put the thought on the back-burner. The fact of the matter is we are very afraid of race issues. Do you wonder what would happen if we quit fearing race issues and embraced our different skin colors? This is why I have decided to say a very firm "no" to the theory of teaching my child to be colorblind.
In every other area of life, be it flowers, trees, animals or food, my child is taught to embrace the creativity of our Creator. (Gen 1:27) Why would the subject of race be treated any differently? People come in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colors...and this is a wonderful and beautiful fact! What a creative God I have! A God who does not make us all the same, but creates beautiful hues of skin color. Gorgeous browns that have the sheen of silk, rich olives that radiate in the sun, lovely yellows that set off the richest of colors in a way that no other skin tone possibly could. One popular Christian speaker says, "Let's be color-BLESSED."
Our family sponsors a beautiful young lady who lives in a Kenyan orphanage. We love Esther dearly and have the opportunity to be her 'parents' by way of financially caring for her, sending letters of encouragement and ensuring that her health, her education and her physical needs are met. We pray for her continually and have pictures of her throughout our home. On Mother's Day of this year I received a letter from my Esther. The letter still brings me to tears and is kept with all of her other letters and pictures alongside Jackson and Bryant's baby books. The sentence that gets me every single time I read it is this, "I love you very much, my good parents and I love my brothers, Jackson and Baby Bryant." Jackson asks about Esther quite often. He once asked, "Can my sister have different colors on her than me?" I answered him with an emphatic "Yes!"
After much, much thought on this subject I decided to learn from my child. He sees different skin colors as beautiful. He sees them a blessing and a thing to embrace. Why explain things in any other manner? When my children question me about race my answer will be simple. My answer will be, "God, in His love and creativity, made us all different and that is a very good thing."
For by Him, all things were created... Col 1:16
It seems the prevailing thought is to teach children to be colorblind. How stupid. (Hang with me here.) That would be like teaching a child that all of his/her toys are green. Of course you could teach your child that everything is green, but she would clearly know that not everything is green and that you are not being forthright with her. One explanation I read proposed that perhaps we aren't different colors at all, but rather varying shades of the same color. I don't really know how I feel about that, so I put the thought on the back-burner. The fact of the matter is we are very afraid of race issues. Do you wonder what would happen if we quit fearing race issues and embraced our different skin colors? This is why I have decided to say a very firm "no" to the theory of teaching my child to be colorblind.
In every other area of life, be it flowers, trees, animals or food, my child is taught to embrace the creativity of our Creator. (Gen 1:27) Why would the subject of race be treated any differently? People come in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colors...and this is a wonderful and beautiful fact! What a creative God I have! A God who does not make us all the same, but creates beautiful hues of skin color. Gorgeous browns that have the sheen of silk, rich olives that radiate in the sun, lovely yellows that set off the richest of colors in a way that no other skin tone possibly could. One popular Christian speaker says, "Let's be color-BLESSED."
Our family sponsors a beautiful young lady who lives in a Kenyan orphanage. We love Esther dearly and have the opportunity to be her 'parents' by way of financially caring for her, sending letters of encouragement and ensuring that her health, her education and her physical needs are met. We pray for her continually and have pictures of her throughout our home. On Mother's Day of this year I received a letter from my Esther. The letter still brings me to tears and is kept with all of her other letters and pictures alongside Jackson and Bryant's baby books. The sentence that gets me every single time I read it is this, "I love you very much, my good parents and I love my brothers, Jackson and Baby Bryant." Jackson asks about Esther quite often. He once asked, "Can my sister have different colors on her than me?" I answered him with an emphatic "Yes!"
After much, much thought on this subject I decided to learn from my child. He sees different skin colors as beautiful. He sees them a blessing and a thing to embrace. Why explain things in any other manner? When my children question me about race my answer will be simple. My answer will be, "God, in His love and creativity, made us all different and that is a very good thing."
For by Him, all things were created... Col 1:16
Monday, June 6, 2011
Crudites
For as long as I can remember, my mom always served a vegetable tray at our holiday dinners. The tray included carrots, celery, cherry tomatoes, pickles and olives. Sometimes mom would even give me the opportunity to arrange the tray. We would usually snack on the 'relish tray' as we waited for the main meal to be served. It was not until I was planning my annual Bastille Day meal that I learned this quaint relish try had a much more impressive name- Crudites. (Pronounced- croodeetay) Doesn't everything sound more refined, expensive and exciting when in French?
Several days ago we were driving to the grocery store for a normal, ho-hum trip. As we were getting into the car, my imaginative Jackson said, "Let's 'tend that your car is a spaceship and we're going to the sky!" Suddenly the ho-hum trip became a much more exciting adventure. This trip was complete with shooting stars, friendly aliens and colorful planets surrounding us. Imaginative 3 year olds sure can make the mundane much more fun! What a great lesson for me. Why do everyday tasks have to be ho-hum? It's sort of like those raw carrots; if you call it a crudite that raw carrot suddenly seems much more exciting than merely a raw carrot.
Everyday has the potential to be extraordinary, even if it is filled with just regular tasks. If you know me, you know that I do not live in a fantasy world nor do I advocate living outside the realm of reality. However, as I have discovered of late, it becomes very easy to fall into a rut of routine. I'll admit, it is awfully tricky to make folding clothes a whole lot of fun, but as Mary Poppins said, "In every job that must be done there is an element of fun, you find the fun and....snap!...the job's a game." It's all in what you make of it. Raw carrots or crudites?
Several days ago we were driving to the grocery store for a normal, ho-hum trip. As we were getting into the car, my imaginative Jackson said, "Let's 'tend that your car is a spaceship and we're going to the sky!" Suddenly the ho-hum trip became a much more exciting adventure. This trip was complete with shooting stars, friendly aliens and colorful planets surrounding us. Imaginative 3 year olds sure can make the mundane much more fun! What a great lesson for me. Why do everyday tasks have to be ho-hum? It's sort of like those raw carrots; if you call it a crudite that raw carrot suddenly seems much more exciting than merely a raw carrot.
Everyday has the potential to be extraordinary, even if it is filled with just regular tasks. If you know me, you know that I do not live in a fantasy world nor do I advocate living outside the realm of reality. However, as I have discovered of late, it becomes very easy to fall into a rut of routine. I'll admit, it is awfully tricky to make folding clothes a whole lot of fun, but as Mary Poppins said, "In every job that must be done there is an element of fun, you find the fun and....snap!...the job's a game." It's all in what you make of it. Raw carrots or crudites?
Sunday, May 15, 2011
The Men In My Life
The arrival of our new little boy means I am officially outnumbered at our house. 3 boys, 1 girl. Our cat is a girl, but since she seems to be waging war on my carpet and nightly tries to steal my pillow, I'd hardly put her in my camp. Anybody want a cat? Thankfully, all of my boys seem to respect the carpet and none of them have tried to steal my pillow. Stealing sleep is a completely different issue.
Our younger son, Bryant, arrived at 2:45am on February 9th. He has been an absolute joy to our family and we are so very thankful for him. His arrival has caused me to reflect upon some of the wise parenting advice given to me over the years. Shortly after Jackson's arrival, my Grandma Marge wisely told me that I should always be mindful of the fact that I am not raising children, I am raising adults. Digesting these words can cause a new mama to feel quite daunted, but these words have actually given me much courage and purpose.
I'll be the first to admit that being a full-time mommy can sometimes feel a little mundane and purposeless. (Is purposeless a word? You understand what I mean so therefore, it is!) It is in the seemingly purposeless moments of picking up plastic soldiers, cleaning peanut buttery fingerprints off of the table and folding tiny socks that I am reminded of my Grandma's wisdom. As I require Jackson to do more chores around the house I sometimes think, "Gee whiz, this would be so much easier and faster to just do this myself." Then the words remind me that patiently teaching my son to pick up his toys results in far more than the temporary result of a clean home, it results in teaching long-term responsibility and work ethic. Certainly there are more anecdotal examples, but I think you get the idea. Continually reminding myself of my Grandma's wisdom has truly shaped my mothering and makes the seemingly mundane tasks of the day look more like an investment than a mere chore. Isn't that what we are doing, for better or worse, investing in our children's character?
Let us be challenged with the knowledge that everyday events, activities and tasks are opportunities to shape our 'adults in training.' A daunting task? Most certainly! I find myself praying for wisdom quite often. What a precious promise we have in James 1:5 "But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach." Let us also be encouraged with the knowledge that the seeds we sow today, seeds that might seem insignificant and tiny, will grow in time.
Our younger son, Bryant, arrived at 2:45am on February 9th. He has been an absolute joy to our family and we are so very thankful for him. His arrival has caused me to reflect upon some of the wise parenting advice given to me over the years. Shortly after Jackson's arrival, my Grandma Marge wisely told me that I should always be mindful of the fact that I am not raising children, I am raising adults. Digesting these words can cause a new mama to feel quite daunted, but these words have actually given me much courage and purpose.
I'll be the first to admit that being a full-time mommy can sometimes feel a little mundane and purposeless. (Is purposeless a word? You understand what I mean so therefore, it is!) It is in the seemingly purposeless moments of picking up plastic soldiers, cleaning peanut buttery fingerprints off of the table and folding tiny socks that I am reminded of my Grandma's wisdom. As I require Jackson to do more chores around the house I sometimes think, "Gee whiz, this would be so much easier and faster to just do this myself." Then the words remind me that patiently teaching my son to pick up his toys results in far more than the temporary result of a clean home, it results in teaching long-term responsibility and work ethic. Certainly there are more anecdotal examples, but I think you get the idea. Continually reminding myself of my Grandma's wisdom has truly shaped my mothering and makes the seemingly mundane tasks of the day look more like an investment than a mere chore. Isn't that what we are doing, for better or worse, investing in our children's character?
Let us be challenged with the knowledge that everyday events, activities and tasks are opportunities to shape our 'adults in training.' A daunting task? Most certainly! I find myself praying for wisdom quite often. What a precious promise we have in James 1:5 "But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach." Let us also be encouraged with the knowledge that the seeds we sow today, seeds that might seem insignificant and tiny, will grow in time.
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