Sticks And Stones

I did something that I haven't done is quite a long time last Saturday. Calm down, it's nothing too crazy, merely a trip to the movie theater. My friend and I went to see "The Help." (Worry not, this post is not a movie review!) There are only a handful of movies that really cause me to pause and consider the hidden applications within the characters and story-line. This particular movie joins that list.

One of the many take-home lessons for me was the power of affirming words. This is an issue that has been on my heart and mind for some time now, especially whilst in the throws of motherhood. One of the characters is a little girl whose mother shows little to no interest in her. However, her nanny repeatedly says to her, "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." Those words of affirmation create a very special bond between the two. Unlike the little girl in the movie, my parents always took great interest in me and showered me with words of love and affirmation. However, I can clearly remember some very hurtful and unkind words that were hurled at me over the course of years. I clearly remember the boy in high school who told me (and not just once), "You think you can sing, but you really suck." I can also remember the girl in chorus who, when I stood to audition for a solo part, said to me, "Sit down, trash." But the incident that hurt me the most was when a very trusted person in my life hurled the most hurtful and piercing insult imaginable at me. The words were so painful that the very thought of them stirs emotions in me that are, to this day, very painful. He has long since apologized and I have forgiven him, but 8 years later the words still haunt me and as much as I'd like to forget them, I can't.

Words are extremely powerful. Words have the ability to breathe life into a person or cut them down at the knees. Were it not for the loving and kind words I received from my parents, I'm fairly certain that the hurtful words of my past would have cut me down and changed who I am. I once heard a story of a young woman from a very poor village in Zimbabwe. She was married off at a disturbingly young age and was also illiterate. She eventually came into contact with a Western missionary. She expressed a desire for literacy to this missionary but she was afraid that she was not smart enough. People had told her that girls certainly weren't capable of learning to read. The missionary told her that she was most certainly capable of learning to read and could do wonderful things with her life. As this woman recounts, those were the first affirming words she can remember hearing. The woman now holds a PhD from a well respected institution and has built a successful school in her former village. She credits her accomplishments to those encouraging words. Words are powerful.

The Bible tells us to speak with words of grace to one another. (Col 4:6) I'm sure I am guilty of using words in a way that isn't gracious and I would take those words back in a heartbeat if I could. Yet, we are not given the privilege of rewinding life and deleting words that spilled from our mouths. We are, thankfully, given new mercies each morning. New mercies that allow us to look at ourselves and do differently and do better. It is my personal conviction that my words must be guarded more carefully. My words must be words that breathe life and encourage, even when dealing with the frustrations of life; furthermore, not every thought that comes into my head needs to come out of my mouth. I'll be the first to admit that isn't always easy!

One can never be certain of how powerful his or her words can be in another person's life. May I never forget that truth. "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24