Aching Love

Anyone who knows me at all knows how passionate I am about the plight of orphans. There are an estimated 143 million orphans worldwide. That number is overwhelmingly heartbreaking. Some of the people I respect the very most in this world are the moms and dads who open their hearts and homes to adopting these orphans into "forever families." This is an act of love and bravery unlike any other. Unfortunately, for reasons that are usually tied to government restrictions, not all orphans can be adopted. This is even more heartbreaking. This is the situation for my precious "daughter," Esther.

 When my husband and I first made the decision to sponsor a child through a local, very trusted organization (Heart of the Bride) I began to pray for the Lord to knit my heart to the child He would choose for us to sponsor. It was very important to me that we would not merely write a check every month. I also knew  asking the Lord to closely knit me to the heart of a child I would not be able to hug, tuck into bed, sing to and interact with on a daily basis would often hurt. My heart aches to hug my sweet Esy every single day. We are very fortunate to personally know the people who make frequent trips to Esy's orphanage in Kenya to check on her and the other children at House of Hope. But, the ache still remains. When we get letters from Esy and she calls us "Daddy and Mom" and tells us how much she loves us and her little brothers, my heart melts and breaks at the same time. It melts because I know she is accepting the love we are offering to her and it breaks because I realize we are the most tangible parents she has...and we are a world away. However, I am thankful for that ache. The ache means the Lord has done the work in my heart that I asked Him to do in accordance with His word. He is so faithful.

 Sometimes when I look at pictures of my sweet girl I just burst into tears. Not just for her, but because there are so many like her. 143 million. An insurmountable number. But, as Christians, we must not bury our heads in the sand when it comes to matters of social justice, caring for the poor and speaking for the voiceless simply because the numbers are seemingly insurmountable. It will hurt. But the hurt means you love deeply and that is a good thing.  And, as one of my friends says, I may not be able to change the whole world, but I can help change the world for at least one child.

 James 2:5 offers so much hope and comfort regarding this issue. "Listen my brothers, has not God chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs to the kingdom, which He has promised to those who love Him?" I know my Esy loves the Lord. And, as I type these words through many tears, I know when He chooses to take her home to Heaven He will bestow the richest of blessings on her for eternity. For all of the things she never got to experience in this world, she will receive in spades when she inherits the kingdom of Heaven. She is the daughter of the King of Kings. She is the apple of His eye and oh so precious in His sight. A crown of glory will be placed on her beautiful head and she will never again cry as she falls to sleep. She will never again feel the pangs of loneliness. She will know perfect love.

 Love sometimes aches. And this is a blessing.