Open Letter to Ms. Rosen

Dear Ms. Rosen,
I, like many other women across America, was extremely offended by your comments directed at Ann Romney. Although I accept your apology, I doubt you have truly changed your sentiments. I'd like to address this issue with you.

I choose to be a stay-at-home mother. When I became pregnant with my first child, I chose to leave my profession and devote myself to the vocation of child-rearing. There are certainly days that I miss my previous profession. I receive no monetary pay for what I do. There are no vacation/sick days, stock options, promotions or health benefits. There is no overtime pay, 401k or retirement fund. I knew those things would be set aside when I chose this path. Yet, I am willing to lay those things aside for my vocation.

Unlike Ann Romney, my husband does not have an enormous salary. Yes, it is a privilege to be able to choose to stay home with my children. But, unlike you insinuate, we do not have this option because we are wealthy. We have this option because we are willing to make sacrifices. We are willing to go without certain things. If we can't pay cash for something, we don't buy/do it. We sometimes wait for years to be able to buy new furniture. We buy used cars and *gasp* shop at consignment stores. And, you know what? I'm perfectly fine with that. When I am the one who gets to witness my child's various firsts and I am the one who gets to tuck him in at every nap, I just don't care about the furniture that is on the proverbial back-burner. We don't go out to eat very often and when we do, it's usually because we have coupons or a gift card. I am very careful at the grocery store and I have learned to use coupons quite well. I, along with many other stay-at-home mothers resent the fact that you have belittled and marginalized the work and planning we put into each and every decision we make for our families so we can have the life we have. You insinuate that we only have this lifestyle because our husbands have high paying jobs and we can lead a life of luxury. Not so. We have this lifestyle because we work as a team with our husbands to make this happen.

Unfortunately, your thoughtless comment is more of a commentary on how we view children and families in our society. Should someone have more than the acceptable 2.3 children, they are "those freaks with lots of kids." Consider the Duggars. Instead of being revered for the fact that they have 19 well behaved, kind, loving and intelligent children (and by the way, do it all with ZERO debt), they are mocked. I have no intention of having 17 more children, but I think there is more to be learned from this fully functional family than any feminist would be willing to admit. Our society places little value on children and families unless it is a political talking point. Out of the mouth comes the overflow of the heart. Your comment that Ann Romney (and other stay-at-home moms) has not worked a day in her life is proof of how little we respect and value families in this country.

It is my hope that the chord you struck with your comments will become a rally cry for mothers and families. Perhaps we'll start rethinking how we view and approach motherhood. Time will tell. And, Ms. Rosen, I don't ask you or any other person to chose the same path I have chosen, but I do ask that you respect my choice just as you would respect a woman's choice to become a CEO, surgeon or senator.

Regards,
Lisa