I Miss Him

It wasn't just that she said, "I miss him" it was the way she said it. It was the look in her eyes and the fleeting smile that turned so quickly into a lip being bit in an attempt to stop the tears. I imagine the smile was because the thought of his face briefly lit her heart. Let me back up...

I sang at a funeral this last Friday. It is always an honor for me to be entrusted with this type of thing. To be asked to sing for an event that is so important in the life of a family is an enormous honor and privilege, one I do not take lightly. It is always emotionally difficult to sing at such events, but the Lord has always given me composure and strength beyond explanation. I must tell all of you that I came away from this funeral feeling challenged, blessed and encouraged.

The man who passed away had suffered with brain cancer for 6 years. Yet those 6 years had not been spent in woe of his diagnosis. But there was no focus on the way he died, the focus was on the way he lived. This man's adult sons told of how much they admired their father, from the time they were little all through adulthood. They spoke of how much they wanted to be exactly like him. They spoke of how much he loved their mother. They spoke of how important they knew they were to him. What a challenge! Am I living my life in a way that shows my children how important they are to me? Do they know without a doubt in their minds their importance to me? Are my priorities right?

When singing for funerals, I train myself to not look at the family until my part is over. Looking at the faces of hurting and grieving people is more than I can bear. However, during the sermon I did steal a look at this man's wife. I really can't explain the expression on her face. Peaceful yet sad and still very much in love. 49 years they had been married. Hard, hard times they had faced together. Yet they remained faithful to each other. What was their secret? "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19 You see, because Jesus loved, before we loved Him and before we ever even knew Him, we are capable of loving one another. We are able to love a spouse for 49 years.

How my heart hurts for this woman I barely know! How my heart aches for the loneliness I am sure she is experiencing. But how challenged I am to truly LOVE my spouse. To recognize that love doesn't mean chocolates and flowers. What a deep and abiding love this woman had and continues to have for her husband. I've seen many couples reach a point in their marriage where they are merely enduring each other. It's as though they've spent enough years together that they might as well ride the rest of them out together. Oh how I do not want to merely "stick it out." Quite obviously, this couple didn't just stick it out.

God is so sweet and kind to give us the promise of Heaven. The promise of being reunited with those we love because of the sacrifice of His Son. But He is also good and kind to give us promises for today. Promises that He is never far from us. Promises that He is nearest to the brokenhearted. I pray that very promise as I picture this woman's face in my mind. Be near to her, Lord Jesus. And because He is faithful and true, I know He will.