Sorrows Like Sea Billows

Have you ever kept yourself from crying because you just knew that if you started it might not stop? That's me this morning. Everything within me wants to just weep. I don't mean just a few tears, I'm talking about the kind of sobbing that involves the entire body. You see, a friend of mine died yesterday. He fought a very hard 8 month battle with stomach cancer and leaves behind a young wife and infant son. Life on this earth is not fair and sometimes it just downright stinks. Understand my sobbing is not for him, but for his wife and son. I am certain he now resides in Heaven without cancer and therefore I have great joy for him. The extreme sorrow I feel is for his family. As a mother to a little boy who adores his daddy, my heart absolutely breaks at the thought that this little boy won't have his daddy to play with, learn from and adore. As a wife who is madly in love with her husband, my heart bleeds for this young woman.

For as long as I can remember I've always used music as an outlet for my emotions. Of course this is not a new concept. The Bible, along with other ancient texts, shows much evidence that this has been a practice of people for many centuries. Most beloved hymns were written out of trials or sorrows and are rich with comfort through truth. Since learning of my friend's death I have been continually singing the words to the hymn, "It Is Well." The hymn-writer knew great sorrow before penning the words to this hymn. His wife and daughters had just died in a tragic accident at sea. He opens his hymn with the following words:
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Isn't it interesting that he compares peace to a body of water? I recently learned a little bit about rivers through a Bible study I am in the midst of completing. Rivers aren't really all that peaceful but instead are quite active. Perhaps that is this hymn-writer's point. He knew having peace in his life was a result of an active relationship with Jesus. Furthermore, rivers are always connected to 2 other bodies of water- a source and an outlet. And so it is with peace, it must be connected to a source. The final thought on rivers and peace would be the fact that it is impossible to see the source and the outlet of a river at one time. Unlike an average sized lake, where the boundaries can all be seen in one panoramic sweep, a river's end cannot be seen from a river's beginning. I think peace is much the same way. At the beginning of a trial or season of sorrow we cannot see the end, but if there is a beginning there will be an ending.

A seldom sung, yet beautiful verse from the aforementioned hymn seems the most fitting way to close this post.

For me be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live
If Jordan above me shall roll
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul
-Horatio Spafford

Coach Kyle

I can tell you quite a few details about the day I met my husband. He was wearing khaki shorts, brown sandals, a blue shirt with a horizontal yellow stripe across the chest and he looked GOOD. Really, really good. But had someone told me that he would become my husband 22 months later I would have rolled my eyes in response. I completely misjudged him in our initial meeting. Don't judge a book by the cover, right? On the day we married, I knew I truly loved him and there were no doubts in my head or heart. We spent a little over a year having fun, figuring each other out and just enjoying each other's presence. I thought he was just fabulous, but it was not until October 25th, 2007 that I started to completely understand the extent of this.

I woke up on the morning of the 25th and realized I was in labor. Not wanting to wake up my peacefully sleeping husband, I took a shower, started a load of laundry and did a little yoga before waking him. Our drive to the hospital wasn't a silly drama-filled experience as portrayed on tv; instead we were filled with excitement and laughed most of the way there. As labor progressed, we moved from laughing to umm..... well....not laughing.

To fully understand the rest of the story, it is important to note that when people learned we planned on having a natural delivery we were met with all sorts of comments and "advice." Most of the comments centered around how Kyle would not be able to say or do anything right and I would be screaming obscenities at him. Well, we DID deliver naturally and there were NO obscenities and Kyle did EVERYTHING right. I'm sure Kyle's memory is a bit different than mine, but he was a fantastic coach. And when I say "we did deliver..." I truly mean WE. Sure, my body was doing the physical work, but Kyle did a lot of the work too. One thing is really evident in looking at pictures of the hours just after Jackson's birth - Kyle looked exhausted. His emotional, mental and spiritual support through Jackson's delivery was hard work! But more importantly, his support was evidence of God's perfect ability as 'matchmaker.'

We are approaching the last few days of our current pregnancy and although I am not excited about the pain of labor, I am looking forward to the bonding that I get to experience with Kyle. Am I completely smitten with him? Yep! Unashamedly so. My mom often says that marriage must be a team effort. I am so thankful that Kyle is the head coach for Team Olson.

And so, Kyle Olson, I'm awfully glad you made it home in time for us to be together for the delivery of our little boy! I love you and like you more and more each day.

Yes, Westboro Baptist, there is a Savior

Over the centuries many groups have manipulated the message of the Bible to suit their selfish ambitions. Horrible dictators and cult leaders have used its ancient pages to cause great harm to millions. Unfortunately, many church leaders over the centuries have also used the Bible in a multitude of selfish ways. Case in point, Westboro Baptist. There are few groups on earth who disgust me as much as this particular group. My disgust comes from the very fact that they claim to be followers of the same God and the same Savior as me and yet I find no Biblical backing for their actions.

Last Sunday evening my Dad and I were discussing the horrible shooting spree in Arizona. One of us mentioned that it would not be surprising if the people from Westboro made an unwanted appearance at the victims' funerals. Guess what I happened to see on a news website the very next morning? You got it. Westboro plans to demonstrate at the funerals of the victims. Classy. Real classy.

It absolutely turns my stomach to see this hate-filled behavior from anyone, but when it comes from people who claim to share my faith it makes my blood boil. These people have absolutely no Biblical foundation to stand upon. In fact, the Bible says that God is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18, 147:3) and has sent a Savior to bind up those who are brokenhearted. (Isaiah 61:1) Furthermore, the Jesus Christ I know and read about is a Man of great kindness and is one who GIVES dignity. Perhaps the zealots at Westboro should read a bit more deeply into the story of the adulterous woman. Jesus didn't stand up with hate-filled, condemning signs at the woman's stoning. Just the opposite! Displaying much grace and love, He intervened on her behalf and wisely drew attention to the fact that those men who were so ready to throw stones were not blameless. The fact of the matter is that Jesus was most harsh and critical of the sanctimonious religious leaders who were very quick to condemn and mistreat.

What I most detest about groups like Westboro is that because of their selfish and manipulative motives, these groups completely misrepresent the Gospel of Christ. These people seem to think (based upon their actions) they somehow earned God's love on their own and no one else could possibly attain what they have attained. Well, Westboro Baptist, Christ died for ALL. He died for those you target and prey upon. Christ's love and sacrifice was not contingent upon our goodness, our righteousness or our accomplishments. Nor was His sacrifice contingent upon whether we would accept His offer of salvation. We can ALL stand forgiven at the cross. "God demonstrates His love for us in that while we were STILL SINNERS, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 Yes, Westboro Baptist, there is a Savior whose forgiveness and love are not contingent upon your opinions.

Skipping Santa

The Christmas Season is my favorite season of the entire year. As any of my former choral students can tell you, I LOVE Christmas music. I just love drinking from Christmas mugs, decorating the house, eating off of Christmas dishes, lighting candles that smell like Christmas, the combination of red and green, decorating Christmas cookies and most importantly, celebrating the birth of my precious Savior. I LOVE CHRISTMAS! But I don't love Santa. We don't treat Santa as a real being at our house and when I explain this decision to people I am often met with shock and a lot of questions. I guess I'm a sort of off my rocker for not allowing my kids to believe in something that isn't real, doesn't make wishes come true and doesn't actually bring presents. Bah-humbug, right?

Before our first little man was born, my husband and I made the decision to forgo all of the Santa Claus hoop-la. Does this mean anything with a depiction of Santa is banned from our home? No. Will we not allow our kids to take a picture with someone dressed up like Santa? No, if our boys want to take a picture with Santa, that is fine with me. However, we will not be teaching our kids that Santa is real. We will teach our boys about the real St. Nicholas and what he did because of his love for God; but not the belief and, dare I say it, deification of a bearded man in a red suit with flying reindeer.

I don't ever remember having a belief in Santa. A conversation with my mom on this very subject confirmed that memory for me. I never felt as though I missed out on anything. In fact, I remember feeling a little sorry for all of the kids whose parents were lying to them. What happens when you figure out the lie? Does Christmas lose a little of its sparkle? I've had people tell me that I'm losing a big bargaining tool with my kids. I would then ask, what is the bargaining chip when December 26th rolls around?

It seems that for the Christian, Santa presents more pitfalls than positives. For your consideration:

1. The traditional dialogue surrounding Santa is that he can see if you've been good, he knows your desires and he can be anywhere at any time. The truth is, only God Himself is capable of omniscience and omnipresence and I don't want my boys, even at a young age, thinking that anyone else has those capabilities. The Psalms, and really the entire Bible, are replete with this truth.  God alone does marvelous deeds!  (Psalm 86:10)

2. When we build Santa up to the point that our children are more excited about a mythological man who shows up once a year than they are about a God who was willing to come to earth as a helpless baby, walk this sod and die a humiliating death so we can be reconciled to a Holy God through no good and no merit of our own, we have allowed Santa to become an idol.  Exodus 20:3 tells us that we are to have no other gods.  None.  Not even if they are cute, part of a tradition, or make us feel magical. Now, not everyone builds Santa up to this level, but I will propose that if one defends the belief in Santa with more passion and voice than the defense of Jesus Christ, the line has become extremely fuzzy and that is a dangerous place to be.

3. Santa develops short-term, me-based goodness. I cringe every time I hear a person say, "You'd better be good or Santa won't come visit you!" Oh dear.  As this world becomes increasingly unkind, it seems that teaching children that they should be good because it's the right thing to do and sometimes doing the right thing may not come with a tangible reward at the end might prepare them for the long run.  In fact, as a Christian, our good works are for the sole glory of God, not so we get stuff.  (Matthew 5:16) This thought also teaches that a good deed is only good or valid if it is seen by someone else. But the best good deeds are those that are done sacrificially.

Am I going to sit Jackson and Bryant down and dogmatically explain that Santa isn't real? No.  Do I tell Jackson that Mickey Mouse isn't real? No. But I don't treat Mickey Mouse as though he is real and I certainly do not say things like, "Mickey brought you that" or "Be good, Mickey is watching!" Jackson is not upset with the fact that Mickey Mouse is pretend, kids love to pretend and use their imaginations. Knowing that Mickey is pretend hasn't left him with emotional scars nor has it taken anything away from his childhood. I would even posit that knowing Mickey, Santa, and Curious George are just pretend is actually quite freeing.  Truth makes us free.  There is no tension of maintaining a lie.  My kids don't question us and they are very excited about Christmas and celebrating the birth of a Savior.

As parents, we must make decisions that may not be popular or understood by everyone around us. By following through with our convictions we teach our children by action, not mere words. It is certainly not the intent of my heart to be sanctimonious about our convictions. I want to be abundantly clear that if you do choose to incorporate the belief of Santa into your holiday tradition that is certainly a choice you are free to make. It is important to graciously teach our children that not everyone has the same convictions and it is not our place to try and force our convictions upon others nor do our convictions make us any better than anyone else. If you choose to teach the belief of Santa to your children, that is your prerogative just as choosing to forgo Santa is mine.  But I will say that Jesus is enough.  He is enough.  The promise of a Savior fulfilled holds wonder unfathomable.

For unto you is born this day, in the city of David, a Savior, Christ the Lord.  Luke 2:11

The Freedom to Celebrate!

My last post was quite heavy, but hopefully not discouraging. As the holiday season arrives this week, I want to encourage all of you to celebrate with great joy. Embrace and enjoy the freedom you have to celebrate this season!

Growing up military meant that our 'traditions' changed each year. Sometimes we lived much too far from extended family to make the trek northward. Sometimes Dad was deployed and sometimes we joined friends to celebrate the day. Dad has since retired from the Air Force and we have the luxury of establishing some traditions with both my parents and my husband's.

It seems that our society puts quite a lot of pressure on us to create a 'perfect' holiday season for our families. And by 'society' I really mean retailers and others who are looking for a financial profit. I've felt this pressure and, sadly, have fallen into its ugly little trap. With that in mind, let me share a little list I made a week or so ago:

This holiday season, I will...
1. allow myself to say no to any activity, party, event that I don't really, really want to attend. Why run my family ragged running from one party to the next? It's really okay to say no.
2. remind myself that Martha Stewart has an entire staff and exceedingly high budget to create 'the perfect' holiday. She also has a husband who left her and a daughter who very famously dislikes her. I think Martha sort of missed the point.
3. create some fun memories with my little guy even if it leaves flour-y messes on my kitchen floor, decorations a bit askew and a tree with lots of decorations on the bottom, but not so much toward the top.
4. cuddle up on the couch, watch "White Christmas" and drink hot chocolate often.

Don't sacrifice fun memories for holiday 'perfection.' Pop your favorite movie in the dvd player, sing Christmas songs as often as you please, eat too many cookies and make some fabulous memories!

45 Million

Sunday, Nov 7th was a difficult morning for me. I know it left my husband in a very pensive state as well. We both realized how easy it is for us, as Americans, to be Christians. This wasn't a new revelation, but it just hit us harder this time. I looked into the eyes of an Uzbek woman, who has lost all of her earthly possessions for the cause of Christ, and was brought to tears. I do not think I will soon forget her eyes or the look found in them. My tears partially came from the fact that I did not understand the look in her eyes. Can any of us who are comfortable in our American homes understand? I have never been imprisoned because of my faith nor have I been beaten, nor have I had police come into my home and take all of my possessions, nor have I....the list could become exhaustive. My biggest 'tribulations' are really just irritations.

As American Christians, what is our response? I just don't know. But I do know that the Lord tells us clearly "to whom much is given, much is required." Freedom is MUCH. The freedom to choose the church I want to attend, the freedom to hold Bible studies in my home, the freedom to order/buy any sort of Christian materials I so choose, the freedom to worship with very little fear. Unfortunately it seems that the American church has become complacent and lazy. We are willing to apologize for the hard and fast truths of the Gospel in the name of 'tolerance.' We are willing to pick and choose portions of scripture that aren't politically correct so as not to offend anyone. And yet the only 'persecution' we face for standing on these hard truths comes in the form of words.

Many worldwide organizations (both secular and religious) recognize that between 70-75% of all religious persecution throughout the world is directed at Christians. The other 25-30% is spread among other religions/beliefs. I do not share this with you to make you feel badly about your own freedom. I write this so you will fully appreciate your freedom and understand that it is imperative to stand for the truth of the Gospel- regardless of political correctness.

45 Million. The number of Christians martyred in the 20th century. More than all other centuries combined.

Elisabeth Olson, the non-feminist feminist

One of my favorite former students (Yes, all teachers have favorites, it's a fact of life.) asked me why I am not a feminist. He is always thinking and asking questions. He carefully ponders his own viewpoints and is willing to listen and consider others' views as well. I love this kid! After several weeks of careful thought, here is my answer.

I believe the Bible is completely true. I believe any wisdom that is needed can be found within it's ancient yet relevant pages. It is extraordinarily evident to me that Jesus was very concerned about the mistreated and oppressed. In His day, this included women. We see over and over that Jesus condemned those who desired to embarrass and disgrace women. (See the story of the adulterous woman in John 8:1-11.) The accusers were not interested in disgracing the male involved in this situation, just the woman. Yet, in stark contrast to what was culturally acceptable, Jesus valiantly defended this woman and protected her dignity. The Bible is replete with truths revolving around the Lord defending the oppressed and giving dignity, shelter and protection. From this source, I have formed my own 'women's rights' stand.

First of all, it is important to define what 'women's rights' really are. Do I believe in women's rights? Yes. But my view of women's rights is probably a bit different from the modern feminist's view of women's rights. If I could draw a Venn Diagram of my views vs. a feminist's views, there would be quite a lot in the middle. But the outlying circles would hold some stark differences.

One of my obvious disagreements with the modern feminist movement is the stance on abortion. I find abortion to be a morally repugnant act that is barbaric and violent. Enough said.

My other large disagreement with the tenor of the modern feminist movement is that it seems to downplay the wonderful attributes of womanhood. Should women have equal pay for equal work? ABSOLUTELY. Should women have equal rights? ABSOLUTELY. However, women and men are not equal. As one example, I can carry a child and give birth. My husband cannot. It doesn't matter how much he tries to do so or even wants to do so (Although I'm sure he doesn't want to give birth!), he will never be able to birth a child. But without him, I can't either. Both genders are required, but each of us has a different role. It concerns me that the modern feminist movement has the tone of wanting to do, and sometimes even act, as a man does rather than celebrating and embracing the strengths and specialties of being a woman.

The Bible gives quite a lot of direction for women. The Proverbs 31 woman was quite obviously educated, a strong leader, a manager, a woman with business acumen, a woman who did not "need" a man to take care of her, but chose to share her life with a husband out of desire, not need. Deborah was likewise a woman who was educated, a leader, strong-willed, effective. This list could go on and on. Yes, there are many people who call themselves Evangelical Christians who, I believe, misuse scripture to manipulate and even oppress women. But EC's don't have the monopoly on this problem. There are others who believe that a woman's education, occupation, dignity, freedom, etc is not as important as a man's. Quite obviously, I whole heartedly disagree with these sentiments.

The modern "feminist" movement seems to be quite tunnel-visioned. In my view, it seems there is one way into their "club." Women who are stay-at-home moms certainly cannot be part of this club. In fact, there is a lot of very visceral language against women who choose child-rearing as their vocation. Other more "lowly" vocations seem to catch this disdain as well. It seems to become part of the modern feminist club, one must have an occupation that puts the woman in a position of power over men. Should you not have such a position, you must be oppressed, underpaid and unhappy. Further, I was appalled at how silent the most vocal feminists fell when several prominent conservative women were spoken of in very vile and disgusting ways. Why would a true feminist allow such actions to be ignored? Further, why are these feminists not rushing to places like China, India, Bangladesh, etc and voicing huge concern over the sex-slave industry and the gender-cide that is occurring? This disparity in rhetoric and action is really sad.

The Lord created men and women to be different from one another and yet He created men and women to be complimentary counterparts. I once heard someone say, "Women are superior to men at being women and men are superior to women at being men." We need not strive to be something we are not. We need, as women, to strive to be the best WOMEN we can be.