Apparently, it is not hereditary

My great-grandmother had the most amazing garden. My grandma has gorgeous flowers all over her yard. My aunts, all 5 of them, can make anything grow. Flowers, plants, fruit, veggies, herbs, etc. When my husband and I recently moved, I had grand thoughts of planting tomatoes, hydrangeas, daffodils, pansies, tulips and various herbs. I started collecting magazine articles regarding such endeavors. I conducted internet research. Rather unfortunately, methinks this research was to little or no avail.

On Friday I bought a rather lovely looking basil plant at our local Publix. Thinking it would be wise to start small, I thought raising basil plant would be a good place to start. Perhaps I would soon have enough fresh basil to put a bowl of fresh pesto on our table every week. Perhaps I would have enough basil to give away to friends! Perhaps I would continue my serial plant-murdering streak. By Sunday afternoon my basil plant was looking very pitiful. I gave it more water and put it in a sunny spot outside for a bit and hoped for the best. It is now Monday morning and the sad plant is looking slightly better.

After having spent some time with my aunts recently, I realized how many family traits I have...my eyes, my hair, my complexion. Apparently horticulture isn't hereditary. It's probably all for the best anyway, dirt isn't exactly my friend. Can any of you actually imagine me digging in the garden? The thought is laughable. I believe I will leave the growing up to the lovely folks who supply the produce aisles at Publix.

An Announcement

Through God's grace, I come from a long line of wonderful mothers and it is my heart's desire to continue that legacy with the children God has given to me. There are many common threads linking my mother, my grandmother, my great-grandmother and great-great grandmother. All of these women love(d) Jesus and taught their children to love God's Word. All of these women love(d) their husbands well. All of these mothers supported their children's God-given personalities and interests and did not force their children to become something or someone they were not intended to become.

While pregnant with Jackson, the weight of motherhood struck me in a palpable way. I felt overwhelmed and under prepared. But this is right where God wanted me. Not discouraged, mind you, but in a mental and spiritual place where I clearly recognized my need for God's wisdom. Kathy, Marge, Ruth and Carolina didn't mother their children out of a desire to outdo the previous generation. Those women all mothered out of a love for the Lord and the desire for their children to know and love the Lord. That God has so graciously given me such a rich heritage is beyond humbling.

So many things in society, technology and culture have changed since my Great-Great Grandma Carolina raised her little girl, Ruth. Parenting trends have come and gone. I highly doubt she even had a 'parenting' book. Dr. Spock was the trend as my Grandma Marge was raising my mom. Fortunately, she didn't buy into that trend! My point? Dr. Spock and the like are outdated and little used. Yet from generation to generation God's Word is timeless. "For the moth will eat them like a garment, and the grub will eat them like wool. But My righteousness will be forever, and My salvation to all generations." Isaiah 51:8

It is my prayer that my love for the Lord will be obvious to my children and that I will lean evermore on God's wisdom and knowledge as I raise these two little boys God has given to Kyle and to me. Yes, 2 boys! I am daunted and honored at the same time. I have caught myself giggling all week long as I imagine life with two boys running around our yard. Two little boys coming home with muddy hands, muddy faces and huge smiles as they recount the lizards that were caught and released. Two boys with baseball uniforms that need washing and tummies that need filling. Two boys with ideas and goals. Two boys! It excites me to watch the 'brother' dynamic play out between Jackson and his little brother. Each time Jackson pats my growing tummy and says, "That's my brozzer" my heart leaps.

Thankful doesn't begin to describe the feelings brimming out of my heart. These are, indeed, special times.

The fair is in August!

When my brother and I were young and complaining about the perceived unfairness of a situation, my mom would state, 'the fair is in August.' This usually frustrated me, but only because she had made her point and it didn't serve my purposes.

I don't know as though the preoccupation with fairness is a new concept. It's human nature to look out for our own interests and desires. But can I be so bold to say that this mentality is not scriptural? Philippians 2:4-5 tells us that we are not to merely look to our own interests, but for the interests of others for such is the mind of Christ. The fact that Paul wrote these words so many centuries ago only confirms my aforementioned thought.

It might have been a book I read shortly before getting married or perhaps it was one of our pre-marital counselors, but I distinctly remember learning the concept that being consumed with fairness is a symptom of selfishness. The need and desire for fairness in marriage is really odd to me. How can you truly and sacrificially love your spouse and yet be so concerned about fairness? I'm not exactly sure where to attribute this paraphrased quote, but it's worth noting, "If you are concerned about fairness in marriage you can be assured that your divorce settlement will be quite fair as well."

I think it is of the utmost importance to concern ourselves with treating others with fairness and justice. The Bible is saturated with truths regarding how we are to treat others in kindness, love and humility. Yet, we are never told to demand this for ourselves. In fact, Leviticus 19:15 tells us quite clearly that we are to be fair and honest with all persons.

As my mother used to say, "Life just isn't fair." She's right. However, I am now of the belief that the sooner we accept this and the sooner we quit concerning ourselves with how fairly or unfairly we've been treated, our lives can be far more pleasant.

Send me no flowers

Before we were married, my husband used to send me flowers. He would usually send them on Valentine's Day or the first day of school. After we got married, I finally had the nerve to tell him to stop sending flowers. Don't misunderstand, I was very appreciative of the flowers. The flowers were significant of his thoughtfulness and his kindness to act on his thoughtfulness. But, alas, I am my mother's daughter. Sure, I like flowers and if I had the funds (or gardening prowess) I'd have fresh flowers in my home most of the time. But flowers are expensive! It's not that I don't like gifts, but I'd rather have shoes, a gift card or something that won't die in a few days' time.

My poor husband happened to choose one of the few girls out there who just isn't all that romantic. Most girly-girls, of which I am one, are very romantic and appreciate sappy movies. I, however, detest romance novels and am generally irritated by sappy romance movies. My husband made the observation that love is more of an intellectual decision for me than a heart/emotional choice. He's probably right.

I love that my husband knows how to romance me. I love that he takes care of ensuring that my car's brakes are always in top shape. I love that he researches things like insurance, investments and other stuff that, although not glamorous or sexy, are exceedingly thoughtful in a forward thinking manner. Today he called me and told me that my car had been paid off! I found that very romantic. God truly gave me a perfect match. I love my husband.

No deep or profound thoughts in this post. Just a confession that I find myself more deeply in love with my hubs every single day. I guess that's a little sappy, huh?

But I said sorry!

I have had the wonderful privilege of teaching high school. I loved teaching and I loved my students. One of the most interesting things about teaching high school is the uncensored glimpse into human nature. I have overheard so many very interesting conversations.

One overheard conversation revolved around the idea of forgiveness equating to absolution. This particular student was very ticked off that she would be paying a consequence for something for which she had apologized. I believe I heard the phrase, "...I said I was sorry!" Were it that easy, right?

This can be a touchy subject for Christians. I've had rather lively conversations with people who claim that a Christian should 'forgive and forget.' I'm not quite sure from where that idea stems, but I do not personally believe this idea is Biblical. In the eternal sense, yes, we are forgiven by the blood of Jesus and our sins are wiped away, but because we are not yet in the eternal, there are often earthly consequences to earthly actions. I submit to you the thief on the cross next to Jesus. Jesus clearly told the thief that he was forgiven and would certainly go to Heaven. However, the thief still had to die on the cross.

My sister-in-law recently attended the funeral of a 17 year old student of hers. This young lady was killed by a drunk driver. The instance of drunk driving that took this young lady's life was not the first prosecuted instance for this driver. My sister-in-law was telling me that her funeral was permeated with the idea of forgiveness. It's a beautiful and heart-wrenching thought, that 2 parents standing behind the coffin of their young daughter spoke of forgiveness. I firmly believe these parents are in the forgiving process. However, forgiving the man who killed their daughter does not release him from the consequences that must be paid for his bad decision.

It is my perception that we often look at a consequence as the opposite of forgiveness. Charles Stanley makes an interesting point with his observation that forgiveness is relational while consequences are are circumstantial. Consequences are a protection for ourselves and for those around us. I turn back to the example of Simon Wiesenthal. He forgave the men and women who committed heinous crimes against him and millions of others. Yet, if these Nazis did not face the consequences of their actions, the message to the world would be one that offers no protection to future generations.

I would be remiss if I didn't recognize that certainly there are times when mercy should be granted. I guess this is where wisdom comes into play. As a parent, I'm learning this delicate dance. So I leave with this thought- "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." Proverbs 24:3-4

Mandiba

One of my favorite books of all time is Nelson Mandela's autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom. It would be difficult to be uninspired by Mandela's life. His life is one marked with great pain and injustice. Yet, the more important marker of his life is his amazing ability to forgive and make peace. Truly his life following imprisonment shows the power of forgiveness.

I recently watched a documentary about the work of Simon Wiesenthal following his liberation from Mauthausen. Many know him as "The Nazi Hunter" or "The Deputy of the Dead." Before knowing very much about him, I assumed his relentless search for over 1100 Nazi criminals was out of revenge. After the atrocities he had seen and experienced, could anyone blame him? It came as quite a surprise to realize that his actions were not driven by revenge at all. Wiesenthal's actions were certainly driven by justice for those who had been murdered, but also out of a sense of responsibility to the generations to come. I was shocked that most of his words revolved around the idea forgiveness.

Certainly the wrongs or perceived wrongs against me are trivial compared to these men. Yet I hope the lessons are not lost on me. The power to forgive is a choice. It would be ridiculous to assume that these men forgave out of instinct. Rather, I believe based on their writings and words, forgiveness was a conscious choice. As a Christian, I have experienced the ultimate forgiveness. Jesus Christ died a wretched death to grant complete forgiveness to me. Who am I to withhold forgiveness when so much forgiveness has been lavished upon me?

Forgiveness seems to be a lost art in our rather litigious society. We are a society overcome with our rights and our pride. Rather than rush to forgiveness, we rush to blame. When Mandela became the president of South Africa, I can imagine that many of the white citizens were quite nervous. How would this man treat the very group who had treated him with such unkindness, cruelty and injustice? To the surprise of most, Mandela chose to forgive and worked to unite his country. The humility expressed through his forgiveness led to his greatness. In stark contrast, it seems that we are quick to rush to judgement and rarely grant the benefit of the doubt. We see the worst possible meaning to the most benign remarks. We look for ways to twist words or actions to be personal affronts. It's all very 'me' based.

One of the beautiful things about forgiveness is that it is not contingent upon receipt. One can grant forgiveness without knowing or even needing the recipient to truly accept it. Sure, it's nicer when they do accept and receive in humility, but the grantor of forgiveness can experience the healing and blessing forgiveness brings regardless of how or if it is received. I think of Wiesenthal's forgiveness of the Nazis who brought such anguish to him. Most likely, they did not receive his forgiveness because they didn't see a need for it. Yet Wiesenthal's conscious choice to forgive played a huge role in his healing as well as his treatment of other people.

Weisenthal also teaches us another lesson. Forgiveness does not always equate to absolution. So now you know the next blog topic...

Throw it away!

I have a confession to make- I used to be messy. My mom has told me that instead of cleaning my room, I would shove stuff under my bed or jam-pack my dresser. Yikes. When I was in middle school I found a roach in my room. It was alive. It changed my life. From that point forward I became extremely organized. One of my college roommates used to say that I could organize anything. I even had a very specific system for organizing my class notes- complete with color-coding. There is not a single closet in my house that I wouldn't mind showing to you. I love organizing things!

When my dear friend, Jen, came to me with a book about the closets of our mind I had mixed feelings. What would I discover about myself? How organized and tidy were those closets? To be clear, this book isn't some sort of touchy-feely new-agey text, it is very much centered on the Biblical idea of filling our minds with the truth. Within the first couple of weeks with this book, I've realized that I have a lot of junk in my mind. My physical closets are relatively junk free. I have a strict policy-- if something new comes in, something old goes out. Unfortunately, I cannot say that for my mind. There is a lot of junk up in there. Anxiety, guilt, frustration, irritations, etc sometimes fill my mind. I've organized these thoughts and put them neatly on the shelves of my mind and pull them out at the strangest times. Unfortunately, organizing these thoughts is an absolute waste of time. So in light of that fact, I have issued a challenge to myself- put new thoughts in and throw out the old.

What are the new thoughts? The new thoughts are centered around who God is and what He requires- last week was Phil 2:4-5 and this week is Psalm 119:14-16. I'm realizing that when I fill my mind with God's truths, I do not have time to pull out the junk. So now I issue the same challenge to you, quit organizing the junk and just throw it away! Fill your mind with the truths of God and see what happens.