Sunday, April 22, 2012

Aching Love

Anyone who knows me at all knows how passionate I am about the plight of orphans. There are an estimated 143 million orphans worldwide. That number is overwhelmingly heartbreaking. Some of the people I respect the very most in this world are the moms and dads who open their hearts and homes to adopting these orphans into "forever families." This is an act of love and bravery unlike any other. Unfortunately, for reasons that are usually tied to government restrictions, not all orphans can be adopted. This is even more heartbreaking. This is the situation for my precious "daughter," Esther.

 When my husband and I first made the decision to sponsor a child through a local, very trusted organization (Heart of the Bride) I began to pray for the Lord to knit my heart to the child He would choose for us to sponsor. It was very important to me that we would not merely write a check every month. I also knew  asking the Lord to closely knit me to the heart of a child I would not be able to hug, tuck into bed, sing to and interact with on a daily basis would often hurt. My heart aches to hug my sweet Esy every single day. We are very fortunate to personally know the people who make frequent trips to Esy's orphanage in Kenya to check on her and the other children at House of Hope. But, the ache still remains. When we get letters from Esy and she calls us "Daddy and Mom" and tells us how much she loves us and her little brothers, my heart melts and breaks at the same time. It melts because I know she is accepting the love we are offering to her and it breaks because I realize we are the most tangible parents she has...and we are a world away. However, I am thankful for that ache. The ache means the Lord has done the work in my heart that I asked Him to do in accordance with His word. He is so faithful.

 Sometimes when I look at pictures of my sweet girl I just burst into tears. Not just for her, but because there are so many like her. 143 million. An insurmountable number. But, as Christians, we must not bury our heads in the sand when it comes to matters of social justice, caring for the poor and speaking for the voiceless simply because the numbers are seemingly insurmountable. It will hurt. But the hurt means you love deeply and that is a good thing.  And, as one of my friends says, I may not be able to change the whole world, but I can help change the world for at least one child.

 James 2:5 offers so much hope and comfort regarding this issue. "Listen my brothers, has not God chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs to the kingdom, which He has promised to those who love Him?" I know my Esy loves the Lord. And, as I type these words through many tears, I know when He chooses to take her home to Heaven He will bestow the richest of blessings on her for eternity. For all of the things she never got to experience in this world, she will receive in spades when she inherits the kingdom of Heaven. She is the daughter of the King of Kings. She is the apple of His eye and oh so precious in His sight. A crown of glory will be placed on her beautiful head and she will never again cry as she falls to sleep. She will never again feel the pangs of loneliness. She will know perfect love.

 Love sometimes aches. And this is a blessing.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Open Letter to Ms. Rosen

Dear Ms. Rosen,
I, like many other women across America, was extremely offended by your comments directed at Ann Romney. Although I accept your apology, I doubt you have truly changed your sentiments. I'd like to address this issue with you.

I choose to be a stay-at-home mother. When I became pregnant with my first child, I chose to leave my profession and devote myself to the vocation of child-rearing. There are certainly days that I miss my previous profession. I receive no monetary pay for what I do. There are no vacation/sick days, stock options, promotions or health benefits. There is no overtime pay, 401k or retirement fund. I knew those things would be set aside when I chose this path. Yet, I am willing to lay those things aside for my vocation.

Unlike Ann Romney, my husband does not have an enormous salary. Yes, it is a privilege to be able to choose to stay home with my children. But, unlike you insinuate, we do not have this option because we are wealthy. We have this option because we are willing to make sacrifices. We are willing to go without certain things. If we can't pay cash for something, we don't buy/do it. We sometimes wait for years to be able to buy new furniture. We buy used cars and *gasp* shop at consignment stores. And, you know what? I'm perfectly fine with that. When I am the one who gets to witness my child's various firsts and I am the one who gets to tuck him in at every nap, I just don't care about the furniture that is on the proverbial back-burner. We don't go out to eat very often and when we do, it's usually because we have coupons or a gift card. I am very careful at the grocery store and I have learned to use coupons quite well. I, along with many other stay-at-home mothers resent the fact that you have belittled and marginalized the work and planning we put into each and every decision we make for our families so we can have the life we have. You insinuate that we only have this lifestyle because our husbands have high paying jobs and we can lead a life of luxury. Not so. We have this lifestyle because we work as a team with our husbands to make this happen.

Unfortunately, your thoughtless comment is more of a commentary on how we view children and families in our society. Should someone have more than the acceptable 2.3 children, they are "those freaks with lots of kids." Consider the Duggars. Instead of being revered for the fact that they have 19 well behaved, kind, loving and intelligent children (and by the way, do it all with ZERO debt), they are mocked. I have no intention of having 17 more children, but I think there is more to be learned from this fully functional family than any feminist would be willing to admit. Our society places little value on children and families unless it is a political talking point. Out of the mouth comes the overflow of the heart. Your comment that Ann Romney (and other stay-at-home moms) has not worked a day in her life is proof of how little we respect and value families in this country.

It is my hope that the chord you struck with your comments will become a rally cry for mothers and families. Perhaps we'll start rethinking how we view and approach motherhood. Time will tell. And, Ms. Rosen, I don't ask you or any other person to chose the same path I have chosen, but I do ask that you respect my choice just as you would respect a woman's choice to become a CEO, surgeon or senator.

Regards,
Lisa